Sunday, January 30, 2022

I Got an NFT to Sell You, Moron

 

You can own a piece of this priceless artwork!

Hey, moron. Yeah, I'm talking to you, crypto-bro. We're all going to make it, but by all of us, I don't mean you. Well, it could be you, if you fall for the next scam. All you got to do is cash out before the bubble bursts. And it will burst. Despite being around for ten years, nobody uses crypto as a currency. And why would you? The value can literally change in the middle of a transaction. Not to mention it takes ten minutes to process a transaction with Bitcoin. Oh, and using Ethereum will cost you twenty bucks, maybe even fifty. Who the fuck knows? It's all made-up bullshit, with so much obfuscation that your average person just might buy into the hype without understanding how much of a scam it all is.

So yeah, Pointless Venture is cashing in. Straight from the blockchain, we will be issuing non-fungible-tokens for Dumb-Fat-Bastard, produced by our hard-working NFT collective, Dumb-Fat-Bastards. Our cryptocurrency, which exists entirely in my imagination, making it just as real as any other crypto, will be called ScamCoin.


A shot of the miraculous blockchain, the tech that will revolutionize fraud!

I assure you, the humble buyer, that if you give Dumb-Fat-Bastards your money, we will not produce a single thing of substance. Any attempts to contact us will fail because we're a DAO, which is short for go fuck yourself. If you're a tech-literate individual with low social skills, a small amount of expendable income, and absolutely no financial literacy, then jump on the hype train, baby! Daddy Elon is taking us to Mars, and only the true visionaries are invited! Good morning and good night!

Here are some other potential NFTs we are working on:


Muddy Penis!



A pile of shit!


Mutant waving high!

Hey, at least none of them feature fucking apes, eh?

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