The Esteemed Critic Reviews Scream (1996)

 

Somehow the Critic, despite being 37 years of age, had never seen Wes Craven's Scream. I remedied this oversight last night, and I'm here to tell you what I think, as always, so that you can think the same things as I do, and we can all be the same, our collective opinion forming a great ocean of collaborative group thought (hah). Scream is a self-aware horror movie, a flick where the villains are fans of the genre to the point where they constantly reference the staples of horror. Even Drew Barrymore, who doesn't survive past the opening scene (spoiler!) opines to her future murderer "What's the point (of horror movies)? They're all the same. Some stupid killer stalking some big-breasted girl who can't act who is always running up the stairs when she should be running out the front door." Jamie Kennedy, who plays Randy Meeks, even lay outs the rules for surviving, which Neve Campbell's Sidney breaks. Scream is subversive, in that it doesn't do exactly what you expect it to, but it may be just a little too smug for its own good. It's hard to care about Sidney when she isn't exactly a character, you know? If your boyfriend is an obvious sociopath (Skeet Ulrich, who glowers with menace) then it's hard to feel sympathy when you're fooled by his obvious lies and misdirection. But Scream isn't about its characters; it's about the audience's expectations and recognition of genre cues. Scream even features a scene that describes what it's like to watch Scream. Randy Meeks, abandoned by his cronies, watches one of the Halloween movies and yells at Jamie Lee Curtis to turn around, while we, the audience, yell at Kennedy to turn around and see Scream's Ghostface, who is just about to plunge a knife into his hapless victim. Irony, man. It was big with Generation X. The problem with irony is that it often utilized as a shield to hide behind in order to avoid saying anything. I'm not accusing Scream of this; it wants you to recognize the conventions of slasher movies while still being titillated by an unconventional slash flick. But I'm not exactly sure how Scream spawned a franchise. Is the premise of a sentient slasher movie really clever enough to stretch out for five films? I dunno. I guess I'll have to watch Scream 2.

New Video: Heart That I Knew

 

An oldie, languishing in obscurity on my Soundcloud page. Nobody visits Soundcloud anymore, but I keep forgetting to cancel my membership, and so every year I'm saddled with a useless internet page full of my music. Also known as "No Name," Heart That I Knew utilizes an unconventional tuning, with both e strings tuned to d. A haunting tune that's probably one of my favorites.

Pointless Venture Gaming

 

Pointless Venture Gaming is just a little youtube channel devoted to whatever I'm currently playing at the moment. My first video is a quick run through of a Quake level, showcasing a ray-tracing mod. I might do some criticism if I feel like it. We'll see!

The Midterms Are Not A Choice Between Wokism and Fascism

 

Let's not go this way, okay?

It's becoming increasingly clear that for many Republicans, fascism is more attractive than a liberal, democratic society. The GOP has embraced Trump's Big Lie at every level, and it's not because he has presented compelling evidence (or any evidence, really). Right-wing media cultivates an atmosphere of constant fear, fear of the Other, the mythical transgender quasi-lesbian multiracial vampire intent on banning Christianity and consuming unborn babies. We must stop this bizarre multitude at any cost, the propagandists say, lest we be consumed. Conspiracy theories run rampant, most so strange and obviously insane that I can't help but think that they serve as a litmus test, a way for the fascists to identify themselves. "Why, of course I believe that the Democratic Party is full of pedophiles intent on harvesting the adrenal glands of children." This make-believe bullshit is really all they have. Instead of being an idiot and falling for propaganda of such low-quality that Goebbels would be ashamed to spout it, ignore the culture wars and consider what you're really voting for.

Competency: Remember when an ice storm hit Texas and Ted Cruz was caught vacationing in Mexico? What about when Ron Desantis fought Covid measures, leading to Florida's high death rate? What about constant Republican cuts to public education funding, leading to a teaching crisis and falling test scores? Hey, remember when Trump ignored the pandemic and politicized the Covid response, causing over a million Americans to die? Let's not even get into the Republican refusal to do anything about America's mass shooting crisis. Seems like voting for a Republican is hazardous to your health.

Morality: Did you know that Florida Rep. Matt Gatez is still in Congress, despite asking Trump for a pardon, perhaps for sex crimes? So is Lauren Boebert, despite her drunken husband's rampages and her various campaign finance problems. Stable genius Marjorie Taylor Greene "accidentally" delivered a speech to Nazis in Orlando, to little pushback from her Party. Let's not forget Trump himself, who has been accused of assaulting 26 women, raw dogged a porn star, and needlessly tore children from their parents and put them in cages. Party of family values, am I right?

Democracy: Did you know that Republicans are bringing a case to the Supreme Court that may allow them to disregard the popular vote in their states? Did you know that Republican legislatures passed a wave of voter suppression laws after 2020? Remember when Trump incited a riot that overran Congress and led to the death of several people, including four police officers who later committed suicide? What about the Big Lie itself, which has become GOP gospel? A vote for a Republican is a vote for authoritarianism. If you vote for a Republican, you are voting for them to take power from you. They don't want you to vote.

 

Weightlifting: A Criticism of 5/3/1 and Its Derivatives

 

The 5/3/1 methodology published by strength coach Jim Wendler is frequently recommended on the internet as a great strength program for anyone. Over the years, I've done the Big But Boring variation, Building the Monolith, First Set Last with Joker sets, and probably some others that I've forgotten. I've never had much success with 5/3/1 despite its reputation, and I think that's because most variations have the same three weaknesses.

Lack of Frequency: Nearly every 5/3/1 program is designed around a four day schedule, with a day focused on the squat, bench press, deadlift, and military press. I have never, in my nearly ten years of training, improved any lift by training it once a week, except maybe the deadlift. Exercise science kind of sucks and I'm not going to cherry-pick some study analyzing the rate of muscle mass gained while performing leg extensions for six weeks with untrained individuals, but most experienced lifters recommend squatting at least twice a week and benching two to three times a week. You're just not greasing those neural grooves by performing a lift once a week. My squat always feels strange and my bench press weak if I only perform them once a week. This sort of low frequency approach only works on terribly strong lifters (big guys squatting over 600 lbs) and PED users. Wendler does have programs that have multiple squat days like Building the Monolith, but that particular program isn't sustainable. Also, dividing your pressing between the bench and the military press is suboptimal. Shoulder strength is almost never a limiting factor in the bench press (Wendler even admits this: he had a 400 plus bench and a sub 200 lbs press before he starting training the military press) and the pecs are not used in the military press unless you're doing a severe back bend. Neither lift does much for the other, and so you'll not see much in the way of improvement dividing your pressing between both lifts with suboptimal frequency.

Not Enough Volume: Big But Boring is usually the recommend 5/3/1 program for hypertrophy. In addition to your 5/3/1 work, you do 5 sets of 10 with around 50 percent of your training max, or you utilize a First Set Last approach (for example, on your 5s week, you'd do 5 sets of 10 with 65 percent). That's a hell of a workout, for sure, yet in the grand scheme of things, not really enough volume. On your fives week, you'd do between 60 and 70 reps of squats, with most of that volume in the lower end of the intensity spectrum. For a hypertrophy program, that's not a lot (keep in mind, you're lifting light weights), especially when considering that Wendler only recommends light assistance work (curls, chin-ups, back raises) and no further focus on the lower body other than squats and deadlifts. You won't see any gains with your bench press or military press only performing 60 to 70 reps with low intensities. Really, for the bench press in particular, you need well over a 100 reps during a hypertrophy cycle, and that's not counting assistance work. Only a natural presser with tiny little t-rex arms could possibly improve their pressing with such low volume programming, and it's certainly not optimal. Besides Big But Boring, most 5/3/1 programs have much lower volume. Only Building the Monolith really approaches a decent workload.

Lack of Specificity: If you've ever read any of Wendler's books, you'll know that they are poorly formatted and written. There isn't any overarching approach to his training programs, other than the 5/3/1 microcycle, and some of them don't even have that. The lifter is left to his or her own devices to choose among the many 5/3/1 variations. There's the whole leader/anchor system that he introduces which is certainly an attempt at a hypertrophy/strength dichotomy, but Wendler has never figured out that you can do more than sets of five or work in more lifts that just the big three and the press. Over the last couple years I've found that having a distinct hypertrophy phase where you work with lighter weights and higher volume to build muscle is really useful and leads to bigger gains during a dedicated strength block. Performing bodybuilding exercises throughout your training, even in a strength phase, prevents muscle imbalances and injuries as well as keeps you strong in the big lifts. I don't think I would have ever fixed my squat without doing some unilateral work. Similarly, switching up your lifts in a hypertrophy block (like exchanging the back squat for the front squat, or bench press for the incline press) helps build strength and mass in under utilized areas.

I know that there are 5/3/1 programs out there that likely address my three big criticisms, yet I haven't seen them recommended by the internet hive mind. I don't want to be a big Juggernaut systems fan boy, but I really think a basic program utilizing periodization and specific training blocks is the best way to go. I recommend going to Juggernaut's youtube channel (here) and checking out their principles of programming series to better understand what makes a good program.

Check Out Ray-Traced Quake

 

Right on the heels of my Quake 2 RTX playthrough comes a new mod from sultim-t that replaces Quake's lighting system with full pathed traced lighting, resulting an a fantastic experience that's frankly a lot better than Nvidia's RTX conversion. I thoroughly enjoyed Quake 2 RTX, but all the reflective surfaces and various graphical wizardry on display contrasted with the low-poly BSP-based level design. Sultim-t's mod isn't as flashy, but it greatly enhances the atmosphere, giving dark fantasy castles deep shadows and volumetric haze for Lovecraftian horrors to prowl through. Now I really want a ray-traced version of Thief; maybe Nvidia's RTX remix project will deliver. As for Quake, it's a hardcore shooter experience. Even on normal difficulty, you're going to get stomped unless you're constantly on the move and cognizant of the strengths and weaknesses of your arsenal. Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor was at his creative peak when he designed the soundtrack, which consists of dark ambient mood pieces that heighten the oppressive atmosphere. Each level is a navigational puzzle, with multiple layers and secret passages, and even though I'll sometimes have to hunt for a key, such searching fits the thematic concerns of the game, as opposed to the more logically structured Quake 2. I guess that what I'm saying is that I love Quake, and I wish id would make a true sequel (there have been rumors). Anyway, give this mod a shot: link here.

Gameplay video

Writer's Block: Fall

 

If winter is the time of death,

Fall is the dying,

The giving of the ghost,

The passage of the leaves,

The transfer of greenery to yellow,

Red, and orange.

The last of the apples hang on

Branches losing their clothes;

The smell of vinegar fills my nostrils

While I dump my load in crates

As weathered as the trees.

Every season makes me an older man;

Every transfer of power takes its toil.

One day I might grow into the ground,

My limbs sinking like roots,

My arms reaching upward

For the waning rays of the sun.

It is something to be tied to a place;

It is a process becoming a haunt.

It is a walking of trails,

a stepping of steps,

a pattern of motion,

A marking of time and place preserved.

New Music: I'll Never Have It

 

Had a lot of fun making this song. Wrote it on Saturday night. The chord progression that drives the verse reminds me of both Surrender by Def Leppard and Purple Rain by Prince. Layering guitars is always fun, as is putting together disparate pieces of music.