Hell, I probably wrote this song around 2006 or 2007. I was screwing around on guitar and it just came to me, out of the depths of my memory. It's heavily indebted to the stoner metal of Black Sabbath, and I thought I'd keep with the theme of the year and release another instrumental. Played on my telecaster run through a Big Muff, with the drums done through Reason.
The damn Warden, in all of his robot glory.
Halo 5 is better than its reputation. It's a well-made campaign, with some brilliant set pieces and excellent graphics. You play mostly as Spartan Locke, who has been commissioned to hunt down Master Chief after he went rogue to look for Cortana. Locke is fine; he's not a great character, but this is Halo, which doesn't really care too much about characters and whether or not they develop in interesting ways (or at all). The whole Cortana-as-a-villain arc doesn't get completely revealed until the end, and then much of what would've made a sequel satisfying was jettisoned in Halo Infinite, which functions as a soft reboot. And that's too bad, since as much as I like Infinite, it doesn't do anything interesting with its story either, except let it function as a way to get the setting back to Master Chef versus the Covenant (oops, I mean Banished). Halo 5's big gameplay innovation is that you're always playing with a squad. You can order them around, but I mostly ignored that function. What they're really good for is saving your ass. You do seem a little more fragile in Halo 5, but thankfully, your teammates will revive you pretty quickly if your armor locks up. Graphically, Halo 5 was ahead of its time. Really, it looks just as good and sometimes better than Infinite, which features a different art style (as well as higher-res textures and improved lighting, to be honest) and runs at a much higher resolution without noticeable DRS. Its campaign also has many big set pieces that Infinite lacks. You'll take out a giant Kraken vehicle, assaulting it first from the outside with Wasps, and then venturing into its innards to blow it up, culminating in a daring escape. The best section has Locke visiting Sanghelios, the homeworld of the Elites, to help the Arbiter put down a Covenant civil war. You switch up environments much more often than Infinite, and the action runs smoother. The biggest detriments to fun are the Prometheans, who are still not as fun to fight as the Covenant, and the multiple boss fights against the Warden, a giant terminator with a sword. The only way to really damage the Warden is to circle strafe him and shoot him in the back, which is harder than it sounds and not much fun. You'll face this asshole at least five times, and every time he shows up, I nearly turned off my console.
Halo 5 isn't as much fun to play as Halo Infinite, but it has more interesting ideas (squad-based gameplay; a different main character) and more epic set pieces, making it a decent ride overall. It is unfortunate the 343 couldn't have added some of Halo 5's better attributes to Infinite to make it a more memorable campaign. The former is recommended for Halo fans, as well as FPS junkies looking for a good single player experience on Game Pass.
That's some spectacle.
Guardians of the Galaxy is a kick-ass third person squad action game that sort of flew under the radar last year despite being developed by Eidos Montreal, who are responsible for the newer Deus Ex games. It's a well-written game that preserves the bickering personalities of the Guardians and makes the player feel as though he or she is an active participant in a Marvel movie. Although they're not voiced by their movie counter-parts, all the voice actors do an excellent job. Drax is unintentionally hilarious because he doesn't understand metaphors; Star-lord is a smarmy doofus; Rocket is an emotionally unstable jerk, etc. You play as Star-lord, but you can direct the other Guardians during battle by tapping into their unlockable special moves. Star-lord is a ranged DPS; during certain points, he'll unlock different elemental firing modes for his blasters, which are useful for various enemy types as well as for solving the odd environmental puzzle. Drax is your tank, Groot specializes in entangling enemies, Gamora is your heavy damage-dealer, and Rocket is your ranged heavy. Combat is pretty fun and a decent challenge, although enemy variety could've been better. You'll mostly fight brain-washed soldiers and a few monsters that aren't particularly memorable. A late-game boss battle with Fin Fang Foom is an exception, and one of the few times that the game wowed me with a set-piece. The banter is what you're here for, and it's fun watching the Guardians eventually overcome their various shortcomings to become the galactic super-team they started out cosplaying as. My only real complaint is that the game has way too many quicktime events where you'll have to mash a button or direct both thumbsticks in a particular direction, lest you be threatened with repeating a cutscene. Graphically, the game is pretty. I played it on my Series S with the framerate unlocked, and it seemed to fluctuate between 45 and 60 fps. A locked 30 fps is available, so it's interesting to note that Microsoft's 1440p 60 fps advertising for the cheaper next-gen console is turning out to be bollocks (Guardians also runs at 1080p on the Series S). Still, it's available on Game Pass, and it'll take you about 18 hours or so to beat it. It's not quite at the same level as the other two games I've finished this year (Cyberpunk and God of War), but it's a cool title that I hope gets a sequel.
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I redid the vocals and the mix of my grunge banger, Song of Songs, and so I'm sharing it with you, dear internet reader. Unfortunately youtube won't let you just replace a video with a new one, so I had to delete my old video. The new one is just as good and made with exactly the same amount of effort. So don't be disappointed.
I'm not a huge Green Day fan, but I've always appreciated their pop songwriting chops. For this one, I did a simple finger-picked arrangement and understated vocals, and I think Basket Case works pretty well as a folk song. An acoustic guitar should always be kept around the house to serenade your family with unwanted tunes.
Total Recall--Verhoeven at the height of his powers. An action-packed popcorn flick that asks the question "was it all a dream?" and hopes you're paying attention. Squibs burst like ripe watermelons and Arnold displays his bizarre everyman charisma. They really don't make movies like this anymore. Five buckets of butter-soaked popcorn out of five.
The Green Knight--A trippy reimagining of the medieval poem that is a feast for the eyes. This is a vivid film that takes its time. Gawain is a prisoner of destiny, yet he takes what little agency he has. All in all, a pleasant viewing experience, yet it didn't linger in my mind. Four hot dogs covered in Cincinnati chili out of five possible hot dogs slathered in Cincinnati chili.
X--Ostensibly a horror movie, yet X isn't very scary; rather, it's almost humorous, with its over the top violence and mirthful dispatching of its stereotypical 70's porn cast. Its villains, two lustful octogenarians, also elicit more laughs than shudders. Too often do its characters don the stupid cap, and too often does one have the thought that a good push would've incapacitated the physically decrepit murderers. Two and a half pieces of licorice out of a package of five uneaten pieces.
Unfogiven--The western that capped off Clint's career. An excellent movie that's interested in deconstructing the myth-making of the gunslinger. It isn't until the last fifteen minutes that we see that some legends are buried for a reason. Still my favorite western, and the cast is excellent, with Gene Hackman turning in a great performance as the vicious Little Bill. Five humongous cups of cola out of five humongous cups of the stuff.
The Wedding Singer--Not only a decent romantic comedy, but one of the few flicks in which Adam Sandler plays a character that is likable and not mentally addled. The eighties cosplay could've been done a little less heavily; other than that minor criticism, this is a sweet film from a man not known for having a lot of empathy (think Little Nicky; the Waterboy; That's My Boy). It earns an extra star for the Billy Idol cameo. Four jelly beans out of a box of five.
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