Sunday, April 19, 2015

Hanging with the Goon

Come on, ya'll its a party!

Now everbody, listen here, tah Goon, Slack, and ol Hernando stole themsevles some moneys from teh Booger King and we took ourselves a trip to tah music city, Nashville! Oh boy, we had ourselve a fine time. We did has some bad times, though, since it seems teh don't take too kindly to folks urinating on tah Predators stadium. Now, I don't know nutting bout hoky, but i think its kinda weird to name a team after tah predator, considering he's a rastafarian and a ruthless murdurer.But whatever; folks down dere do as teh please. I guess I oughta start teh tale from teh top.

Don't ya'll think he's face kinda looks like a crab vagina?

First thang we do is go to teh country music hall of fame. Lucky for us, they had a exibit featurin' everone's most favorte jackass, ol' Kenny Rogers! No when to fold them indeed! Kenny had a nice collection of all his guitars and nudie suits and most special buckets of fried chicken. But to tell teh truth, nutting beat seeing tah dresses taht dolly parton wore! Hernando says she got teh voice of an angel, but I was more concentrating on teh size of her boobs. We also got to see Elvis's cadallac which was made of pure solid gold an had a tv in teh back, which really got me thinkin that maybe Elvis was from teh future cause they don't even had tvs in cars nowadays. Eventually we got thrown out fere tryin to steal Gram Parson's nudie suit, which wasn't made to stay behind glass.

Is taht not duh most awesome thing you ever seen?

Second thing we did was to go get ripped an listen to a honkey tonk band. We saw some real cool cats called teh Eskimo Brothers, but unfortunately teh bartender (who looked like Slash witout teh top hat) screwd Slack outta some money an we had to high tail it outta dere before teh cops came. It's a long and terrible story, so I won't bore you all buy tell you but I guess some folks don't take to kindly to whiskey in dere faces followed by a slap of duh titties.

Lastly we got oursevles a gormet meal at a Kenny Rogers roasters an eat it all in an alley an gave teh bucket to a hobo to lick. Teh rest of teh weekend is a blur an nun of us remember too much. I do remember someone hitting me wit a car. Slack also woke up wit a bunch of grass in his mouth. Somehow we all got back together an made teh drive home listening to duh dixy chicks on duh radio. Sometimes I think things just happen in my mind. But I dunno. Dat doesn't seem possible.


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