Conan Brothers Q&A

 

RedditUser1324 asks "WTF am I even doing? I spend all my time consuming vapid content on social media platforms while my own creative ambitions remain unrealized. What am I doing with my life?"

Dave: It's like what they feared television would become.

Arnold: Televison was always limited by the amount of content. Nobody spent hours watching I Love Lucy. Even the good shit like Seinfeld only came on once a week, and by the time it was syndicated, you'd seen every episode. There were no algorithms computing what sort of nonsense you preferred to consume. There was no way to keep a television in your pocket.

Dave: We are aware of the great attention deficit scheme, yet we still have smartphones.

Arnold: I still go on Reddit, even though it's full of bullshit. The great irony is that they're using Reddit to train AI. I hope they're using all my shitposts.

Dave: Let's try to answer the question, Arnold.

Arnold: I suggest a phone fast, along with cutting off all social media. See how long you can go.

Dave: BUT IT'S MY LIFE.

Arnold: Is it? I've noticed that vapidly browsing Reddit increases my dissatisfaction, as well as my stress levels.

Dave: How many Am I The Asshole threads can you read before you definitively conclude that you are, in fact, the asshole?

Arnold: The poster is always the asshole because they're asking Reddit to be their morale compass, which is like asking Donald Trump to be your life coach.

Dave: Try to unplug, is what we're saying.

Arnold: Sure. We follow our own advice, don't we?

...

OldLifter38 asks "How do I keep hitting the weights while approaching middle-age? My joints ache and recovery seems to take forever."

Dave: What, you thought your ass would age like fine wine?

Arnold: My right rotator cuff is holding on by a thread. The last time I did some incline presses, my shoulder ached for four days and I had trouble sleeping. I don't do incline presses anymore.

Dave: Extra recovery days. I can't do a six day schedule anymore. I'm on a five day. Also, two of my days are very light, focusing on bodybuilding.

Arnold: Make sure you're getting enough sleep. If you have kids, that can be a problem. Your body repairs itself while you sleep.

Dave: We had to cut out the maxing every day shit.

Arnold: I'm not the biggest fan of 5/3/1, but as a nearly 40 year old lifter, I understand that deload on the fourth week now.

Dave: A deload every fourth week is part of our routine. You can't train like a twenty-year old anymore.

Arnold: That's a cold, hard fact.

...

Helldiver200 asks "You bros Helldiving tonight?"

Dave: I Helldive when I can.

Arnold: It's a great multiplayer game, but my god, is it still buggy. I got kicked from my last match right before extraction.

Dave: I wish there were more mission types.

Arnold: Yeah, after thirty or so hours in the game, you've seen everything it has to offer, and you probably have the better weapons and stratagems. Orbital Laser is my favorite.

Dave: Autocannon is the best gun. Hard, heavy, and fast. Only drawback is that it takes a while to reload.

Arnold: As long as my buddies are still playing, I'll still play.

Dave: Got to get that social time.

Bad Poetry: The Internet

 

It's important to remember 

That the Internet isn't real

It's just

An endless collection

Of ones and zeros

streaming through 

Coaxial cable

and telephone lines.

You can carry the Internet

Around in your pocket

So that it keeps its tether

Around your attention span.

But you can't really hold it

Nor can you tell me

What it's really good for

Besides bombarding our minds

With advertisements

and propaganda

From corporations

That slither about

Like enormous lizards

Intent on devouring 

Everyone's soul.

In the near future

No one will be able to read;

We'll communicate in emojis

And mangled memes.

Our children will reference

Influencers 

And every bit of shared culture

Will be forced upon us 

By monsters looking to make

A profit.

Nothing is inevitable

But death.

Give me the Butlerian jihad

Before I lose another hour

On Reddit,

Where my comments will be cannibalized

By machine learning, thereby

Insuring the eventual destruction

Of the next big pyramid scheme.

Fuck off, Internet.

I can still say that now,

Can't I?

 

 

A scuzzy garage-rocker with lyrics referencing some ho-down in the post-apocalyptic wastes. I think this shit's catchy! It's catchy, right?

Weightlifting: A New Hypertrophy Routine

Here's a five day hypertrophy routine focused on the powerlifts. This should challenge you without totally tanking your energy levels. In other words, this is a program designed by a thirty-eight year old man with recovery in mind. Without any further ado:

Sunday: Heavy squat, light pull. 

High bar squat, no belt. 4 sets of 3 with around 70 percent of your one rep max. Week two will having you keeping the weight the same, but doing 4 sets of 4. Week three will have you increase the reps again for 4 sets of 5. On week four, you'll do one set of as many reps as possible with the weight. You'll also do only 2 sets per body part for your assistance work instead of the normal 4. Then for week five you'll add 5 to 10 lbs and start the cycle over again.

Good mornings: 3 sets of 10. Add weight when you feel like it.

Calf raises: 2 to 3 sets of 12. Add weight whenever.

Knee raises: 2 to 3 sets of 12.

Barbell rows. 2 sets of 12. Add weight when you can, but start light and keep these easy.

Biceps: 4 sets of whatever biceps exercise you want. Barbell curls, dumbbell curls, incline curls, band curls are all great.

Monday. Heavy push. Bench presses with 70 percent of your 1 rep max for the same 4 sets of 3 progression as utilized during your squat day. For assistance work, just do 2 sets on week four.

Dumbbell incline presses or dumbbell flies: 2 sets of 10 to 12. Keep it easy.

Shoulders: 2 sets of lateral raises, 2 sets of upright rows. Keep it light, just get a pump.

Triceps: 2 sets of pressdowns, 2 sets of extensions. Just doing the work, not setting PRs.

Tuesday: Rest.

Wednesday: Light squat. Do a set of 10 with about 40 percent, then a set of 8 with around 45 to 50, then finally a set of 6 with around 50 to 55 percent. Add a rep to every set every week until the fourth week, where you'll do two sets of 10 with only 135 lbs. This is an easy squat day. You're doing the hard work on Sunday. This is just about practicing the movement and getting a little extra volume.

Dumbbell stiff-legged deadlift. Just grab a heavy dumbbell or two and do 2 sets of 10 to 12. This is meant to be light bodybuilding.

Crunches: 2 sets of 15.

Calf raises: 2 sets of 12.

Thursday. Light Bench Press. Same progression as the light squat.

Same assistance work as on the heavy bench press day.

Friday. Heavy pull day. Do deadlifts with the same progression as on the heavy squat and push days.

Chins: 4 sets of 8 to 10 reps.

Dumbbell rows: 3 sets of 6 to 12 reps.

Biceps: 4 sets of whatever curling movements you want to do.

Saturday. Rest.

I feel that this is a perfect program that covers all the bases. You get your heavy strength work in on the powerlifts while building muscle through bodybuilding movements. The AMRP weeks also function as a deload while giving you a chance to hit PRs. Every few months you could switch up main lifts--switch to close-grip bench press, sumo deadlift, or low-bar squat. Chose your own adventure! 

New Music: Walking on the Moon

 

I wrote this weird song on acoustic guitar, then fiddled around with the arrangement, going for a sixties psychedelic rock sound, a la the Pretty Things or early Pink Floyd. The intro implies a D major/D Mixolydian key, but most of the song is built around a back and forth chord progression between F#7 and G that accumulates tension before "resolving" on an E minor/E diminished chord. The chorus switches to a chromatically descending progression that goes Bflat/Bflat6-A7/A7m6-Aflat-add 2nd/G/G minor. This part was actually inspired by the strange chord progression of Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun, even if it doesn't sound like it. I'm proud of this song, with its strange chords and retro sound. Hopefully, others like it as well.

The Esteemed Critic Reviews Uncut Gems; Damsel; Ricky Stanicky

 

Uncut Gems--A thriller with no release, excepting the inevitable conclusion. Adam Sandler plays a diamond hustler named Howard Ratner whose gambling debt spirals out of control. The film begins with a short sequence showing the mining of a black opal and then detours to the inside of Howard's colon as he lies unconscious during a colonoscopy. See, the film wants you to know that Howard is an asshole, which becomes more and more obvious as we follow him around New York as he wheels and deals, using collateral that doesn't belong to him to attempt to pay off his brother in-law, a loan shark. Howard eventually obtains the black opal seen in the prologue, which garners the interest of basketball star Kevin Garnett. Garnett's possession of the opal seems to improve his play; Howard makes a big bet at the end of the movie after finally selling the opal to him. The psychology of the gambler is one of the movie's major themes. Howard can't help but gamble, despite the ever increasing hole he's digging. This is also one of the most Jewish movies I've ever seen. Howard works with other Jews, his family is very Jewish, and he actually obtains the opal from Ethiopian Jews. Howard himself is a stereotype--the Jewish diamond merchant obsessed with scoring big--but this is an American story, and Howard's quest for glory while oblivion nips at his heels fits in nicely into the Trump era (the movie was released in 2019). Anxiety builds in the viewer as the movie escalates, and while it can be off-putting (I thought about turning the movie off several times during the first sixty minutes) it mirrors the gambler's search for that elusive high. You'll get it along with Howard if you can stick around till the end. A challenging film, but a great one. Props to Sandler for doing something other than a moron comedy.

Damsel--a Netflix movie (like Uncut Gems) that has one good idea that nearly carries what is otherwise a B-flick. Millie Bobbie Brown plays a princess who agrees to marry a prince to save her kingdom, only to be sacrificed to a dragon. The first part of the movie is actually pretty good. Brown's character has to race from tunnel to tunnel while trying to outsmart the giant fire-breathing dragon that knows the labyrinth better than the princess ever could. Shohreh Aghdashloo voices the dragon, and she does an excellent job making the monster sound creepy. Unfortunately, the movie gets schlockier the longer it goes on, and as Brown survives more and more implausible scenarios, any surprise or tension the film had vanishes. Still, I enjoyed Damsel and think it's a good watch for a Saturday night. It almost feels like an updated version of Dragonslayer.   

Ricky Stanicky--One half of the Farrelly brothers is responsible for Ricky Stanicky, a comedy starring Zack Efron and John Cena about a trio of guys who have to find someone to play their imaginary friend who has served as their scapegoat into adulthood. Cena shines in this, particularly in an early scene in a strip joint where he sings perverted pop-songs rewritten to be about masturbation. Cena is the only one to stand out in what is otherwise an okay comedy with a few chuckles. There are no Dumber and Dumber-level scenes, and Efron doesn't distinguish himself, which is a shame, because he was pretty funny in Neighbors. Like Damsel, it might be worth a weekend watch. Just don't expect Something About Mary.

New Music: Firefly

 

A twelve-year old song that I wrote in Cincinnati. I don't believe it was ever played live, which is a shame, since it's a nice little acoustic ballad. For this arrangement, I just went with my new Fender acoustic, my cheap Jaguar bass run through my Epiphone Blues Custom, and a simple drum loop made in Reason. Sort of weird, but poetic lyrics give the tune some of my special "character." I like this song. I hope someone else does too.

Bad Poetry: A Bunch of Shit Poems

Morning

Coffee

Computer

Kids on couch

TV blaring

Are we awake 

Or will the process

Ever begin?

...

Spring Break

The boys still get up

At 6:30,

Harrison sneaking downstairs

To peruse his electronics.

Theo still asks every morn

If he is going to school today.

This cycle repeats

 

Ad infinitum

 

And sometimes I wonder

 

If I am going crazy.

 

What's another day in the bucket?

 

Ask me when I'm old

 

And I'll tell you.

 

...

Orchard Work

 

Cold

 

Windy

 

Bending over

 

For sticks

 

Turning tricks

 

For what?

 

You gotta be

 

A self-starter

 

Otherwise

 

None of this shit

 

Gets done. 

 

  

New Music: Spring

 

A little piece I threw together while playing with my stratocaster. Does it evoke the feel of spring? I thought it does, but hey, what do I know?

Thoughts on Phantom Liberty; Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun; and Helldivers 2

 

Phantom Liberty has some good graphics and decent gunplay.

My gaming attention has been pretty fragmented lately. I've divided my time between three titles, and here's what I think about them so far.

Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty--I enjoyed Cyberpunk enough to finally purchase the Phantom Liberty expansion. It starts off pretty hot--you break into Dogtown, an isolated part of Night City controlled by Barghest, a paramilitary group led by Kurt Hansen, after an enigmatic netrunner named Songbird begs you for help and promises a cure to V's fatal Keanu Reeves problem. Soon Airforce One crashes and you have to help the President of the New United States escape. It's all very reminiscent of Escape from New York and the graphical spectacle is impressive. The game cools its heels after rescuing the President, and V is soon embroiled in a spy caper involving Idris Elba and the game switches gears to more of a James Bond style romp. It's all pretty cool, but there are a lot of cutscenes, and despite them being beautifully rendered, you'll find yourself absorbing a lot of story rather than mowing down cyber-psychos. When you do some shooting, it's pretty fun. I used the Sandevistan to slow down time, along with cloaking from the new Relic skilltree to obliterate enemies with my shotgun, or double dashed through the air to finish off Barghest soldiers with my katana that can deflect bullets. You have quite a lot of options if you're willing to spend the points. Be prepared for a pretty long journey. I think I'm only about a third of the way through the story after about ten hours.

When I first played Cyberpunk, I did it on a RX 5700xt Radeon. With my RTX 3080, I can finally use DLSS and ray-tracing. Cyberpunk even has a path-tracing mode (actual realistic ray-tracing with multiple light bounces!) although it's barely playable on anything but a high-end card. I definitely noticed the reflections, while the shadows are a fairly minor upgrade. As for ray-traced lighting, it just looks different, if you even notice it. Path-tracing does look amazing, but I have to bump DLSS down to Balanced, which looks a bit low-res, and then I'm only averaging about 30 to 40 frames per second. Just my two-cents, but ray-tracing is a pretty minor upgrade unless you're going all in with path-tracing.

Some screens:

Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun--A boomer shooter with satisfying gunplay, somewhat confusing level design, and a strange difficulty curve that usually finds the game too easy, with some hard spikes every now and then when you run out of health and armor. I'm about a third of the way through this one, and I find it pretty comparable to Prodeus. It's best played in spurts. The pixelated look of the game is pretty cool, but there are shader compilation stutters from time to time, a given since this is an Unreal Engine game. Worth blitzing through if you're on Game Pass. I liked Dark Forces a bit more.

Helldivers 2--I'm not as apeshit about this game as the rest of the internet. That being said, it is really fun to play with your friends. A Starship Troopers simulator, Helldivers finds you assaulting various alien worlds either full of giant bugs or terminator robots, coordinating with your four man squad to complete various objectives. What Helldivers does really well is simulate the carnage of warfare. You can call in various types of airstrikes, which are required to take out the harder enemies, such as chargers or bile titans, and the various types of unlockables, including defensive deployables like Tesla towers, really give the game a different feel than other co-op titles. I would say it's a tad buggy, however. I haven't had any trouble getting into a game, but the developers had to struggle to add servers, since they underestimated how big a hit the game was going to be. Definitely check out if you have some good gaming buddies.

   

Weightlifting: Bench Press 200 lbs for 17

 

After about a month of doing a bodybuilding routine, I've realized that I lose interest in weightlifting if I'm not focusing on increasing my strength. I gained a bit of muscle in my arms and back, however, and I'm about five pounds lighter than I was before. Here's to hitting heavy PRs again, albeit with a four day routine instead of the six day routine I was doing before. Recovery is usually an issue.

Conan Brothers Q&A

 

FunkyMonkey asks "So Haley has dropped out and Trump is the GOP's nominee. How fucked are we?"

Dave: We're as fucked as we want to be.

Arnold: The power is with the people. Will enough normies come to the realization that a second Trump presidency will essentially be the end of the American experiment? I dunno. Wait a sec, I gotta watch a Tik-Tok video.

Dave: You're conflating the two. Our attention span and the rise of fascism.

Arnold: It's a complex issue. Our media apparatus, focused on profits, is not designed to combat someone like Trump. These motherfuckers literally learned nothing. At least they're covering his metal degeneration. But there's a reason why nobody is aware of all the landmark legislation that Biden has passed. It's gotten very little coverage.

Dave: Trump good for ratings.

Arnold: That's the thinking of the bigwigs. And the American press loves to play the "We're unbiased and obligated to give fair coverage to both sides." Well, what if one side is constantly lying? What if one side is trying to flood the airwaves with bullshit? Just look at the coverage of the failed immigration bill that Trump had his lackeys in congress veto, even though it was a good deal for the GOP. "Congress fails to pass immigration bill, will it hurt Democrats in November?"

Dave: I think Biden's hurting more because of the high price of housing and years of inflation.

Arnold: America's doing way better than most countries post-pandemic. Our myopic view gives us little perspective.

Dave: Really, this 2024 match-up was inevitable.

Arnold: The GOP base was never going to abandon Trump. But the Justice Department could've moved a lot sooner, and maybe some of these trials would be finished.

Dave: Merrick Garland was a mistake.

Arnold: Possibly the biggest of Biden's Presidency. Nevertheless, there's no reason to abandon hope. There's almost an entire year left before the election.

Dave: Like George Micheal said, you gotta have faith.

Arnold: Still, mentally prepare yourselves. I have a hard time trusting the American people.

...

GentleGym asks "What are the biggest differences between training for hypertrophy and training for strength?"

Dave: Volume. Rep-range. Movement selection.

Arnold: You can powerbuild and try to have both. But after moving to a more bodybuilding-oriented style, I realize that hypertrophy training is just as hard, if not harder, than powerlifting. I hate doing multiple sets of twelve reps on the squat or bench press. Even if I'm using weights that I would've laughed at when I was powerlifting, by the end of the workout, I'm drained, both physically and mentally.

Dave: But the recovery cost is less when bodybuilding.

Arnold: That's true. My elbows aren't as inflamed. And my energy levels have improved.

Dave: Getting big arms and shoulders is the shit, though.

Arnold: Very true. Let them elbows come forward during curls and triceps movements, and reap the results.

...

BillyTheShit asks "Are you guys playing Helldivers 2 with the rest of the internet?"

Dave: I play with my boys.

Arnold: I'm not as taken with the game as most people seem to be. It's a great Starship Troopers simulation. The co-op elements are great fun. But I really only play it when my friends are online.

Dave: Why the hell doesn't it have DLSS upscaling?

Arnold: It was a Playstation port. Be happy that it runs as well as it does.

Dave: Calling in a huge explosion is fun, though.

Arnold: I'm only level 9 and all my buddies are like 30 to 50. They get all the good shit.

Dave: Worth 40 bucks if you have a couple of friends to play with. I dunno about chumming with randos.

Star Wars: Dark Forces Remastered Impressions

 

Here's my Dark Forces walkthrough, which is still a work in progress.

Star Wars: Dark Forces was one the essential games of my childhood. Originally played on a hand-me-down 486 (I think), I remember struggling to get the sound working, as well as frequently getting lost for hours in the game's labyrinthine levels. Having just completed the fourth mission of Nightdive's excellent remaster, I've found that Dark Forces' levels aren't as bad as I remember; however, I have a good twenty plus years of video games experience on my younger self, and I've also learned how to play attention to details, which was an ability I struggled with during my youth (I may have had ADHD symptoms as a kid). Anyways, Dark Forces holds up really well as long as you approach it in the right mindset. Video games from the nineties often treated level navigation as a puzzle, and if you play Dark Forces while constantly paying attention to every nook and cranny, then I don't think you'll find it as frustrating as if you just turned your brain off and raced through to an inevitable dead-end. Nightdive have cleaned up Lucasart's classic, giving it achivements, support for modern resolutions and framerates, as well as improving the textures and sprite-based models of enemies. The result is a remaster that feels and looks great to play on modern systems. Somehow, there's never been a Star Wars shooter that surpassed Dark Forces. The weapons are fun to use, with the iconic E11 stormtrooper rifle being an inaccurate, fast-firing staple that you'll frequently rely upon. Dark Forces really nails the look and sound of Star Wars. The sprawling military installations with questionable safety standards; bottomless abysses and slimy sewers full of garbage monsters. It's still the closest movie approximation to feeling like Luke in A New Hope, racing down the halls of Death Star, blasting stormtroopers. My only complaint is that I feel as though the remaster might be a tad expensive at 30 bucks (I picked it up for 26 on Steam), considering that this is a really old game that will stump many. But then again, I really enjoy playing these updated games, and I know that Nightdive needs to make a profit. Let's hope they remaster every game in the series.

Weightlifting: My Hypertrophy Routine

 

Is there some CGI going on here, or did Chris Hemsworth transform into a 70's bodybuilder?

Because I'm old (38!), sore, and perpetually tired, I decided to abandon my PR every week workout methodology, despite its effectiveness at getting me stronger. The constant stress from hitting heavy weights every day eventually took its toll, so I've switched to bodybuilding with its more manageable stressors. It's been pretty fun so far; in over a decade of lifting weights, I've never really trained primarily for physique, and so it's been an interesting challenge. Focusing on the powerlifts have given me big pecs, quads, glutes, traps, and spinal erectors, but my shoulders, arms, and calves could use a little bulking up. As a subscriber to Dr. Mike's Israetel's Youtube channel, I noticed his Transform Your Body Like Thor workout plan seemed to check most of the boxes for what I was looking when it comes to a bodybuilding routine. Being a basement lifter, as well as someone who didn't totally want to abandon the powerlifts, I've made some adjustments. Here's a summary of the plan (Thanks ShawnProctor1, who copied it out in the Youtube comments.)

RP's Thor Workout Plan: Day 1: Back, Shoulders, Arms. Barbell Bent Over Rows, Underhand pull-ups, Dumbbell lateral raises, Dumbbell bicep curls, Tricep overhead EZ Bar Ext. *2 sets (10-15 reps) 

Day 2: Chest, Legs, Abs. High Bar Squats, High Bar Good Mornings, Incline dumbbell press, Slant board sit-ups *2 sets (10-15 reps) 

Day 3: Back, Shoulders, Arms. Cable cross-body lateral raises, Barbell upright rows, Chest-supported rows, EX bar bicep curls, Cable tricep pushdowns *2 sets (15-20 reps) 

Day 4: Chest, Legs, Abs. Machine flat chest press, Hanging leg raises, Dumbbell lunges, Dumbbell stiff-legged deadlift *2 sets (10-15 reps)  

Day 5: Back, Shoulders, Arms. Overhand pull-ups, Inverted rows, Cable bicep curls, Dumbbell incline curls, Skull crushers, Cable overhead tricep extensions, Cable upright rows *2 sets (10-15 reps) 

Progression plan: At first, 3 RIR for all lifts. Tuesdays and Thursdays. 2 sets per ex, but add rep or 5 pounds most weeks Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. If not challenging, add 1 set per ex. Deload every 4-8 weeks Only Tuesday and Thursday. Reduce weights, sets, and reps by 50 percent Do program 8-16 weeks. Assess progress. Repeat or, if bored, change component exercises.

Here's my routine, using the same basic layout and most of the same exercises. The rep range, however, changes from 8 to 12, due to the fact that I'm utilizing an undulating periodization scheme with my powerlifts. Also, some exercises have been changed to fit what equipment I actually have. Chest training has been moved to the other upperbody days because of my preference for an upper/lower body split.

Day 1. Chest, Back, Shoulders, Arms. Bench Press for 3 sets of 12. Dumbbell Rows for 3x10-12. Upright row for 3 sets of 10. Barbell curls for 3 sets of 10. Dumbbell triceps extensions 3 sets of 10.

Day 2. Legs, Glutes, Abs, Lower Back. High bar squats 3 sets of 12. Good mornings for 3 sets of 10. Calf raises 3 sets of 10-12. Hanging knee raises 3 sets of 12.

Day 3. Chest, Back, Shoulders, Arms. Close-grip Bench Press for 4 sets of 8. Pullups for 4 sets of 8. Dumbbell curls for 3 sets of 10 to 12 reps. Dumbbell triceps extensions or pressdowns for 3 sets of 12 reps. Upright rows or side laterals for 3 sets of 10-12 reps.

Day 4. Leg, Glutes, Abs, Lower Back. High bar squats for 4 sets of 8. Barbell stiff-legged deadlifts for 2 sets of 8. Crunches for 3 sets of 10-12. Calf raises for 3 sets of 12 reps.

Day 5. Back, Shoulders, Arms. Barbell Bent-over row 3 sets of 12 reps. Incline dumbbell curls 4 sets of 10 reps. Pressdowns 4 sets of 10. Side laterals 2 sets of 10.

So in the same spirit with the same bodypart focus, but with more barbell exercises and a lower rep range for some workouts. My program is meant to be run for five weeks or so before transitioning to a 10 to 6 rep routine. Big exercises that do 3 sets of 12 switch to 3 sets of 10 (Squat, Bench Press, BB Row), while the days that have 4 sets of 8 switch to 4 sets of 6 (second squat day, Close-grip Bench, Stiff legged Deadlift). That way, strength is maintained, even while the bodybuilding work (the curls, raises, pressdowns, etc,) stays in the high rep range. Weight or reps should be added every week. Like Dr. Mike's routine, a deload is recommended when needed.

Lies of P; Resident Evil 2 Remakes; Vampire Survivors; the Value of Gamepass

 

The RE engine looked modern even in 2019.

Game Pass is a phenomenal value, with hundreds of titles available, and new games coming all the time. Recently, I've played through Resident Evil 2, as well as devoted many hours to Vampire Survivor and Lies of P, not to mention titles like Cocoon, Halo Infinite, and Sunset Overdrive. If you're the sort of compulsive consumer who likes to try something out and then bounce on to the next dopamine hit, then Game Pass is right up your alley. I have to admit that I'm trending this way, even though I get a lot of satisfaction out of completing a game. There are so many great games released every year, and so little time to play them all that the cards are stacked against you. Still, in a world that seems to value attention less and less by the second, I'm not sure if the Game Pass mentality is healthy. If you have 60 or 70 bucks invested in a game, you're more likely to stick with it and give it the time it deserves. Sometimes, art is initially difficult or complicated, but by investing your attention, you are able to wring out meaning and value that you would never obtain through more simple, accessible media. Also worth mentioning is the subscription hellscape that Microsoft would like us to embrace. As primarily a PC user, I already don't really own my games--I own them as long as Steam is around--and it sucks that we're moving toward a diskless future on console. I remember buying Dishonored 2 on disk, and being disappointed that I had to download nearly the entire game. Big tech would love us to forfeit the idea of ownership, because they'll have all the power in such a relationship. So even though Game Pass is a great value, I'm canceling my subscription, for the sake of my attention span and as a rebuke of the whole idea. I'm sure the suits at Microsoft will really notice, heh.

Anyway, here are a few mini reviews of what I've been playing.

Resident Evil 2 Remake: a really great survival horror experience, and probably my favorite of the series so far (I've only played RE:Village and the RE:3 remake). Steering Leon Kennedy through Raccoon City's police station and its underworld is tense. The unkillable Mr. X might pop out of any corner, or you could run out of ammo after attracting a Lurker's attention, or you might not have had the foresight to keep that wheel in your inventory so that you could fit it on a valve and turn off that wall of steam blocking your path. Inventory management, when to shoot and when to run, and hunting down codes for upgrades forms the bulk of RE:2's gameplay loop, and it is simply fantastic pretty much the whole way through. It's also not a ridiculously long game, clocking in at about 12 hours or so. One of the best games on Game Pass.

Vampire Survivor: This goofy little roguelike is like crack for your brain. You proceed through a variety of open, randomly-generated stages, focusing on obtaining weapons (Santa Water and the Whip are two of my favorites) that your character automatically shoots in whatever direction you are facing. Your aim is to evolve your weapons into their final form, and to last as long as you can until the 30 minute time limit is reached, and death spawns to shuffle you away. It doesn't sound particularly compelling, but I've spent nearly 20 hours in Vampire's pixalated nightmare, and that's more than most roguelikes get out of me.

Lies of P: A day one Game Pass title, Lies of P is a really good Soulslike that I just couldn't finish. Laxasia, one of the final bosses, did me in with her second phase, and I'm a real hater of two stage fights where it takes a long time to get to the second stage. Still, it's a really cool game with excellent combat and unique enemies (puppet monstrosities and mutated monsters) set in a memorable dark fantasy version of Pinocchio. I wish there was multiplayer summoning like in From Soft's games, because I probably would've been able to beat the game had that been the case. I don't have time to git gud anymore, folks.

Bad Poetry: Mirror

 

There are lines and hairs

And wrinkles around stares

Rimmed with black pits

Of unsleeping darkness

Keeping us awake

As we shuffle through

Our rancid stew

Of memories traded and faded

And bladed until the pieces

Refuse to fit together.

When I look in the mirror

I see myself sleeping in the daytime.

I don't see a stranger but I see

Someone else who is turning 

Into me

Piece by 

Piece by

Piece.

 

 

To All the Second Amendment Defenders

 

 Same shit, different day.

To all the Second Amendment defenders:

I wish you would just admit that you don't care how many people or kids get murdered. You don't know them; they aren't you. They're not your kids, and if they were, maybe you would still support the ownership of firearms, since you're supporting a morally indefensible position, which would indicate that you're a person of questionable morality. The lives don't matter; what matters is that you have the power to kill, a power that you didn't earn, a power that you obtained with no sacrifice, no discipline, and no responsibility. That power was freely given. No questions were asked about your mental acumen or your reasons for wanting to own a firearm. You were not required to undergo any training to prove your fitness for owning a deadly weapon, you were simply given one and told to have at it. You have the power to make someone's life disappear in an instant with a pull of a trigger, and it's granted to you with the frivolity of a purchase at Wal-mart. And you're cool with all of that? This is how it should be, and there's no changing it, and every so often the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of all the innocents who've died because of America's gun obsession? 

 

I feel as though America is dying from its own disease. 

The Conan Brothers Q&A

 

ClusterBuck asks "2024, huh? You guys have any New Year's resolutions?"

Dave: New Year's Resolutions are for losers.

Arnold: So yes, we have plenty.

Dave: Stay jacked as I approach middle-age, outlast the coming political storm, improve my mental health.

Arnold: Recovery is an issue as I continue to lift into my mid-thirties. Sore connective tissue in my back and chest, elbow issues--it all sucks. As does the persistent feeling of tiredness that seems to accompany any hard labor.

Dave: Gotta up them PEDs.

Arnold: I started taking fish oil, although apparently it doesn't do anything as a supplement. A friend recommended collegian. I'm on a forced layoff from the weights after I sprained an ankle. I haven't taken a break from pumping iron for a full week in god knows how long.

Dave: You have to learn how to back off.

Arnold: The problem is that I enjoy lifting heavy and PRing too much to do that, Dave.

Dave: 'Tis the hardcore lifter's dilemma.

Arnold: This ain't no free ride. Life's not supposed to be pain free.

...

GamingPunky asks "What are you guys playing?"

Dave: Vampire Survivor.

Arnold: A mindless roguelite that's basically crack for your brain.

Dave: Also, Resident Evil 2.

Arnold: The remake. It's so good. The survival horror gameplay loop of unlocking new areas, inventory management (do I keep extra ammo for my pistol, or do I leave inventory space for any new items?), unkillable enemies (Mr. X!), and light puzzling is just exquisite. Still looks great, too.

Dave: I've also been trying to beat Halo Infinite's campaign on Legendary. On the Harbinger. That fight is such bullshit.

Arnold: Halo Infinite is much better than what hardcore gaming circles think. But it definitely has too many ridiculous boss fights. Bullet-sponge enemies are never fun.

...

 MargoRobberton asks "How do you guys avoid the winter blues?"

Dave: Lots of alcohol. Dnd. Too much time playing video games.

Arnold: Go outside. This has been a mild winter (thanks, climate change!). Take a walk.

Dave: Are you going to follow your own advice with your sprained ankle?

Arnold: Yes, in fact. It's not like it could get anymore swollen.

New Music: Lost without End

 

A blues song that encapsulates the saying "down and out." You've been down and out if you've tried to rip a bush out of a McDonald's parking lot, or woken up in a ditch with a trash panda as your sole companion. One of those two statements is a true story... I wrote this in about twenty minutes, just in the spur of the moment. Sometimes songs just fall out of the ether.

Video Game Review: Sunset Overdrive

 

Sunset Overdrive is an irreverent open-world action game developed by Insomniac before they were purchased by Sony. It was originally released in 2014 for the X Box One, but a PC port came out in 2018, which is the version I've been playing through Game Pass. You play as some poor smuck who ends up in the middle of a mutant apocalypse after a bunch of amped-up concert goers consume an energy beverage called Overcharge. The game has a Warped Tour vibe, with a punk soundtrack and juvenile humor, and a story that's really just background for mutant-bashing. What Sunset Overdrive really excels at is movement. Your character can grind on narrow surfaces, bounce on cars and overhangs, wall-run on the side of buildings, and dash in mid-air. Doing all this generates Style, which is necessary to unlock Overdrives, which are combat and movement upgrades used to upgrade and customize your character. Once you get the hang of movement, just moving your character through the environment is an absolute thrill. Insomniac are great at this; Spider-man is fun just swinging around New York, and you can see a lot of that sort of consideration in Sunset Overdrive. The arsenal is also a hoot. You'll get a rocket launcher that shoots explosive teddy bears; a shotgun that can light mutants on fire; a roman candle missile launcher, and a stun gun that shoots disks that electrocute enemies. Fighting mutants and scabs (your garden variety apocalyptic raider) while bouncing on cop cars like a punked-out Mario is great fun.

The quest design is somewhat repetitive, which is one of my criticisms of the game. You'll encounter various factions, all of which are pretty loony (a group of LARPers who are divorced from reality; a power-hungry boy scout leader), and you'll have to do some busy work for them, which will involve fetching an item while killing mutants. Still, Sunset Overdrive has a good sense of humor, and one of its running gags is that if your character dies, he comes back in some ridiculous way, like in a rocket or out of a portal. Mario-like noises beep when you pick up a health item, and the bouncing sound when jumping off of a car hood is a comical boing.

Performance leaves a little to be desired. Despite being an older game, there's some stuttering as you move around the world, likely due to assets being loaded on the fly. Given that I'm running Sunset Overdrive on a Ryzen 7 5800x, an eight-core CPU leagues beyond the humble X Box One, I'm assuming that the porting process was not perfect. Graphically, it's stylized enough to not look too dated, and you can see the roots of Spider-man in this engine.

Sunset Overdrive reminds me of games like Just Cause. The whole point of gameplay is to have fun moving around the world while causing destruction, and anyone who's a fan of Insomniac's work should definitely check it out. Here are a few screenshots below:

  

Weightlifting: 150 lbs Press for 9

 

Another press PR in two weeks. I haven't regularly military pressed for almost a year, yet I'm hitting PRs in a lift that I've always struggled with. My theory is that you're better off bench pressing than utilizing the strict press as your main press, because the weights are a lot heavier, allowing you to strengthen your triceps, which then carries over to other pressing movements. The front delts just don't seem to be much of a factor; either bench pressing is enough for them, or they aren't the limiting factor in the military press. Other than light front raises, I haven't done much for my front delts besides bench pressing.

	1RM	2RM	3RM	4RM	5RM	6RM	7RM	8RM	9RM	10RM	12RM
Low Bar Squat	415	380	365	350	360		340	320		315	275
High Bar Squat	390	365	350	345	340		315	320		300
High Bar Squat (Paused)	365		315	300	275
High Bar Squat (No Belt)	365	335	325	325	330			285	295	250
Front Squat	315	300	300	275	270	265	245	225	215	225
Bench Press	315	290	280	275	270	260	255	250	245	235	225
Bench Press (Paused)	300	280	270	260	250	240	245	235	230	225
Overhead Press	195	185	175	170	170	160	155	150	150	145	135
Deadlift	510	470	455	425	425	415	410	390	405	360
Deadlift (No Belt)	460		450			400	405		365	340
Sumo Deadlift	455	435	435	420	410					315
LB SQ no belt	380	350	345	330	335	315	315	300	295	275	275
Push Press	230	205	205	195	185
Barbell Rows	315	305	295		275						225
Close Grip	295	280	270	265	255	250	245	240	235	240	225
Clean and Push Press	205	175	185		160