- The Diary of Mitch R. Singer
- Hanging with the Goon
- The Consummate Politician Apologizes
- Rating the WWE's Roster by Their Stench
- The Esteemed Critic's Multiple Sentence Reviews
- Conan Brothers' Q&A
- Theme Park Mistress
- Hillsdale Paranormal Society
- Writer's Block
- Select Farmers Only Profiles
Thursday, July 19, 2018
Just lost my job at the nail factory because of the President's steel tariffs. I don't mind. Somebody has to fix the economy. If I have to pay the price, we'll so be it. I'll be the meat that's fed through the grinder that chokes the libtards.
How do you like that sweet economic growth, hippies? Stock market is booming. Of course, I don't have any stock. They didn't offer us any at the nail factory, though we did get a bag of nine inch nails every other quarter if the price was up. I've got a lot of nail bags sitting around the house. Maybe I should grab the initiative and sell some nails on the internet like a real capitalist.
That tax cut they passed is going to help me too. I think I'm going to get an extra three-hundred back. Of course, I'm out of a job at the moment, and tax day is nearly a whole year away. But at least the government ain't getting my hard-earned cash.
What I really enjoy, though, is watching all the libtards squirm as ICE does its job and kicks all the free-loading Mexicans outta the country. They were taking all of our jobs! I know a farmer who doesn't have anybody to pick his crops now, so he's gotta offer those positions to honest Americans. Now he might go out of business because picking peaches is a terrible job and nobody wants to do it but illegal immigrants, but hey, that's capitalism. There are winners and there are losers. We can be meat for the grinder now, but someday, that meat is going to reform itself into a cow, and that cow is going to be filthy rich.
Right now, though, I'm working on getting Disability for my bad back so I won't have to work if I don't want to. A man can live in squalor while he's reconstituting his meat juices. I got plenty of time to watch the Fake News and wonder how some people can be so dumb. So the President's best friends with Russia. Who gives a shit? I don't want to hear any conspiracy theories.
You know if Clinton had been elected, we would've already had World War 3? All the Mexicans would've got amnesty, and I would've lost my job to a woman. At least I have the comfort that my job ain't held by no welfare queen, since the factory is going out of business. Screw you, liberals!
You don't understand the way our psyches have intertwined with the Donald's. You don't understand that every time he trolls the media, it's us that are trolling right along with him. When he says something racist or dismantles a federal agency, he's working for us, fighting the establishment, the forces that hold us down and make us poor. If you think he looks like an idiot, that's because you're over-educated and think you're better than us salt-of-the-earth folk. Every criticism of the Donald is a criticism of us. When you claim that he's fat, ignorant, narcissistic, and incredibly short-cited, then you're saying the same about us.
What you don't get is that it doesn't matter if it all burns down. At least we screwed over the libtards. Really, that's all that matters.
Friday, July 13, 2018
Hello, morning. I'll have a cup of coffee and about forty minutes of first person shooting. I must remember to login every day so that I maximize my daily rewards and earn more experience. Every two levels I get a free loot box. I'll click on that box and watch eagerly as it explodes like a pinata full of fireworks. Look at all of those worthless cosmetic items. Wait, did I say worthless? I guess not if you're Epic Games. To be clear, I've never played Fortnite. The game in question is Quake Champions, a hero-shooter update to the venerable arena franchise complete with all the lovely trappings of modern gaming. Not a lot of people play Quake Champions. It's a niche product peddling 90's nostalgia to thirty-year old gamers like myself.
I don't know if I imagined I'd be a gamer in my thirties.When I was a kid, video games were played by nerd children. Now everybody's gaming, from your preteen adolescent to the baby-boomer with a smart phone. Everyone has a console in their hands, and everyone's attention can be diverted for a few precious seconds. That's fine, right? After all, football and baseball are just games. Chess is a game. Every hobby is pointless in its own way. Although I've never heard of baseball teams employing psychology to engineer an addictive product. Doing so might help with ratings since Millennials are watching Youtube more than live television.
What are the consequences of an entire population addicted to games? Can parents ween their children from spending too much time playing Fortnite when they're dicking around on their phones 24/7? Are my son and I going to bond together playing Call of Duty 15? Or are we each going to become isolated in our own private gaming spheres, separated by the years and cultural touchstones that neither can understand? Really, that's probably inevitable. Every generation has experiences that are incomprehensible to the previous generation. My father loves baseball. I occasionally watch baseball in order to share a fandom with my father. My son will probably dismiss baseball as a relic of another era and spend his time watching pro gamers or twitch streamers. That's okay, right?
Childhood obesity in America is at twenty percent. Do video games have something to do with it? I don't know. I think I'm more concerned with our addiction to constant distraction.We live in an ever-changing world that requires an engaged response to the myriad challenges the future holds. Over forty-percent of the population doesn't even turn out to vote. Am I painting with broad brush strokes? Sure. I guess.
I don't know where this post was going, but there's a loot box with my name on it.
Monday, June 25, 2018
Okay, people I know you're angry. A bunch of fascist nitwits are running the White House thanks to the shittiness of our supposedly-democratic system. And yes, Stephen Miller is one totem pole away from being a 4Channer posting Pepe the Frog memes, but that doesn't give you the right to call him a fascist while he's enjoying Mexican food. Haven't you people ever heard of decorum? Stephen Miller is an adviser to the President and therefore entitled to a certain level of respect while he's gleefully laughing about separating migrant families like the world's lamest Bond villain. I mean, it's not like you can argue that the President doesn't conduct himself with pose and...
Alright, so that was a stupid argument. President Trump rode to the White House because he doesn't act like just another politician. People liked that about him; they still do, otherwise his approval rating wouldn't be hovering around 40 percent. Still, just because the President conducts himself like a high school bully on Twitter doesn't mean he and his staff aren't deserving of respect. Take poor Sarah Huckabee Sanders, for instance. She was trying to enjoy a nice farm to table meal and the goddamn owner of the restaurant kicked her and her family out! Just for working for the President! Well, also because she lies to the American people on a daily basis like a shitty, hillbilly Goebbels. Bad form, restaurant owner! I'm sure a decent portion of Americans are salivating to have the chance to host such a wonderful human being as Sarah Huckabee Sanders. The Republican Party thinks that gay people should not be served if a business owner disagrees with their sexuality, but come-on, irony has no meaning for these people! If you said the word, they would look at you like you had just projectile vomited all over the floor.
Well, maybe not. Both Miller and Homeland Security Secretary Kristjen Nielsen were eating in Mexican restaurants while the controversy over migrant family separation was brewing, which has to be some form of trolling, right? Maybe these assholes know exactly how terrible they are being, and they don't give a shit? Maybe they deserve the exact amount of respect your cat would give a rat scurrying under the dinner table? Maybe it's time these people understand exactly how much a majority of America hates them?
Or maybe we should just shut our mouths and be good little members of the proletariat. I know what the Trump administration would have us do.
Monday, June 18, 2018
This is totally what I look like. Haters gonna hate.
Alright, cucks, this is Red Pill Steve, and I'll be writing a regular column on Pointless Venture in the interest of being fair and balanced and all that shit. If you want to know who I am, let it be known that I am the manliest man that ever manned, and I've banged like a million chicks, and I spend my days chopping down trees and logical fallacies perpetrated by the soy-fed masses, who will one day drive the human race to extinction with their complete devotion to pussyness and being pussy-whipped. Despite what my critics say, I never have and never will live in my mom's basement. In fact, I don't have a mom. Also, I'm not that Steven Bannon, though I'm basically the same guy and will someday be advisor to a President and have my own terrible web site (but not this one).
Now back in the day, before feminism took all the masculinity out of society, men were real men and not the slackjawed, boy-faced pseudo-males you see all around you talking about comic books and social justice. We used to get to wear suits and drink in the office like Don Draper, and nobody cared about offending anyone, and if you complimented a woman on her bust-size, she didn't immediately run to human resources claiming you were a sexual predator (thanks, Barbara) because that shit hadn't been invented yet. But beta-males were still about, and they've been around since the beginning of time. Let's take a look at some of history's biggest cucks so that we don't magically lose our balls and grow tits.
Thomas Jefferson: I mean, just look at the dude in the above picture. Does he not look like the kind of guy that spends his days defending anime and freedom of speech in games journalism? I guarantee if you asked him a question, he'd look at the ground and mumble incoherently. So he wrote the Declaration of Independence. Big fucking deal. We would've been better as a British Colony, because colonialism was the bomb, and who wouldn't want to have a king instead of a pussy president (with the exception of alpha-male Donald Trump)? Although I do give him points for sleeping with his slaves (it was consensual!) and not conceding to the PC warriors of his day. If you want a better founding father, then look to Aaron Burr. He at least was a man who shot people and tried to form his own crazy country. Or look to ultimate bro Ben Franklin for inspiration, who put bags over the heads of his ladies and did his business while wearing a coonskin cap and brandishing a lightning rod.
Socrates: Ok, I got to give him points for basically being naked. But notice the unkempt beard, which you know he grew to hide his feminine bone structure. As a philosopher, his whole point was "You can't know anything." What a fem-nazi cop out. I'll tell you what I do know, Socrates: you defiled young boys and corrupted the masculinity of the youth of Athens. That's why they killed him. He went out like a total pussy, too, by drinking hemlock instead of insisting upon mortal combat. Good riddance.You want a better philosopher? Try Nietzsche, but only read what r/The_Donald has to say about him, not any of his actual works. Also, try some Ayn Rand, but remember that she was a woman, and so not capable of complex thought.
FDR: FDR was responsible for the modern nanny state, which emasculates men by letting the weak survive. He was also crippled, and he hid that fact from voters, because he knew they wouldn't vote for him otherwise. He was married to lesbo Eleanor, probably the first woman that slept with him. Also, he was totally on the wrong side during WW2. I'll let you guess what side that was.
I mean, I could go on and on about the soy-boys of yesteryear, but my mom left some hot pockets in the microwave, and I don't want to burn my tongue when I bite into them. Also, I'm like totally not racist or any of those other social justice buzzwords. Until next time.
Monday, June 11, 2018
Monday, June 4, 2018
We are the persecuted, the beleaguered, the witch-hunted. We suffer dirty looks from the underclasses when we don our MAGA caps, and sometimes, servers will not serve us. We are not free to shout our racial slurs like our Great Leader, because everyone has a smartphone and the internet can destroy a life. Our children call us stupid, brainwashed, and fascist, and though we have disinherited them, the words still hurt. We are shamed for watching Fox News, for taking pride in the American flag, for valuing a good-looking, big-titted white woman over all others. They don't want us to support the troops; they wish the troops were all dead. They wish for a world free of responsibility, a world of racial handouts and reparations and socialized medicine. They want the Deep State to win. They don't understand the travesty of the emails, or the horrors of a pants-suit. They think God is something that died long ago.
They want to tell us how to live. They want to take the Christ out of Christmas and put a Jew or a Kwanzaa man in his place. They want to take our money and give it to the welfare queens who have grown fat off the system, having their ten children with ten different fathers. They want our teenagers to have sex and be gay. They want transexuals to share bathrooms with small children. All of their wants are evil wants, and their God is not a god but the devil himself. For years he reigned, sitting on the shoulder of Obama as he plotted to take away our guns and put us in deathcamps. He sat on the shoulder of Clinton, the great liar, the Whore of Babylon incarnate. Now he has been banished by our Great Leader, and they are not pleased.
We are enjoying the reign of the greatest President of our lives, and they are not happy. They are not happy that he is doing something to stem the tide of illegals pouring through our borders to rape and pillage and deal drugs and hip-hop. They are not happy that he has tried to erase the horror of Obamacare and its deathcamps. They are not happy that his tax cut, which will put so much money back into our pockets, has passed and will become law. They are not happy that he has made the NFL players stand for our national anthem. They try to discredit his accomplishments, and drag him down with the FBI, a Deep State apparatus, part of the Jew-run Illuminati secret cabal that has plotted to destroy America with AIDS and Islam.
We are the resistance, the minority fighting to preserve pride and whiteness and privilege. Our world is different from yours; global warming is a Chinese conspiracy, sexual harassment is a fiction created by ugly women, and Donald Trump is the greatest American ever to live. You cannot convince us otherwise, because we will not listen to anything that you say. Just watch as we take back the land that our forefathers gave us. Just watch as we keep up the good fight. Just watch as the Swamp is drained of alligators, frogs, and human-slime.
Watch as we make America Great Again.
Sunday, June 3, 2018
Mark Henry was strong because he was born before the internet.
Currently, there's a reddit thread on r/weightroom in response to an article on 70's Big that states every man can squat 405 lbs. Redditors are falling over themselves to argue against the central point of the article, stating that one has to be on the juice and have a cave-man forehead to be able to lift such monolithic weight. One person states that they've only ever seen someone squat 405 twice in their gym; another says they've been lifting for years and can squat 340 lbs pounds, which must mean 405 is impossible, because they're been trying real hard, supposedly. In 200 plus comments, there may be three or four arguing in favor of the article, which came as a shock to me. 405 is not a lot of weight for an adult man to squat. I squatted 405 lbs after three or four years of training, and I'm certainly not a (genetic) freak. How can all these people spend so much time obsessing over training minutiae and not be at least competent at lifting weights?
My generation was the first internet generation. My family upgraded to high-speed (for the time) internet when I was sixteen years old. Sure, I spent a lot of time playing Counter-Strike and chatting on Messenger, but I also went outside and hiked, lifted weights, and played a few sports. I did work on my family farm. I grew up with the internet, but I never let the internet make me weak. I don't think younger members of my generation had the same experience. Maybe they grew up with atrophied spinal erectors from sitting in a chair all day. Maybe they never developed any muscle on their legs from being inside 24/7. Maybe they never did any manual labor because almost nobody does manual labor in America anymore. Maybe for younger millennials, it really is an impressive feat to squat 405 lbs.
I watch my toddler run around every day like a monkey on speed. He climbs over the couch, hauls his toy car around, pushes the coffee table like a sled. He's strong enough to pick up a gallon of milk with one arm while he's sitting in the seat of a shopping cart. He is a physical, muscular creature, and most of us are born like him. Somehow we lose that simple joy of exercising our bodies. We start complaining about stairs and walking. Our supple frames become loaded with adipose tissue, from the American diet of fat and sloth. We have an excuse for everything. We're just big-boned; we don't metabolize food as efficiently as some people. There's no point in exercising because we just can't lose weight.
How did we get to this point, and are we going to do anything about it?
It's not hard to get in shape. Building a rocket to the moon was hard; losing weight is about eating less garbage and burning more calories. Getting strong is about eating more good food and lifting heavy weights. All the internet bullshit in the world is dancing around those simple points.