Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Tweets that I will Never Tweet


1. Oh my God, I just ate a pound of stroganoff, should I call the hospital? #Imgonnaexplode

2. You'll pry my gun from my hand when I'm dead #Getthisgunouttamyhanditisstuck

3. Batman is the best superhero #Batmanisgay

4. OH MY GOD IT'S A MIRAGE #IMTELLINGYOUALL #SABATOGE

5. Tweet, tweet, motherfucker #TwitterSucks

6. I can't express how I feel in 140 characters #WHATISATWEET

7. Trump for President #DestroytehGovernment #FromInside

8. I don't skip leg day, I run #Iwanttofitinskinnyjeans

9. Not sure how this Twitter thing works #I'mOld

10. When did the pound sign become a hashtag? #Don'tBelievethelie

11. NEVER GIVE UP #JOHNCENAROCKS

12. Inspiration garbage #LifeisPoo

13. Who eats apples? #Dotheygrowontrees?

14. Never understood the fascination with dinosaurs. Don't you know they weren't real? #DinosareSatan'slie

15. YOU GOTTA FIGHT FOR YOUR RITE TO PARTY!!!! #ImTooDrunkToSee

16. Whats the Next They're Gonna Invent That I'll Not Figure Out HOw to Use? #Old #Depends

17. SUPORT OUR HERITAGE #CONFEDERATEFLAG #RASCISM

18. Winny the Poo is not a bear #CartoonThing #HoneyAintThatGood

19. Meat is murder #EatAlltheVegetables #Havingtheruns

20. #Hashtag #Hashtag #AMIDOINGTHISRITE?

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