Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Rating the WWE's Roster by Their Stench, Part 2

The New Day's Big E smells like sweaty man boobs lathered in baby oil, a fact lost in the trio's relentless message of positivity. Also, his farts are unbearable. 5 out of 10.

Tyson Kidd is the dumbfuck little brother you never had. You know, the type of kid who would put his hand down his pants and then smell it. So basically, Tyson Kidd reeks of urine-stained underpants and day old Doritos crumbs. 9 out of 10.

The Miz represents all that is wrong with modern culture. Do you know what integrity smells like? Neither does the Miz. The former Real World star smells like a Jersey Shore beach right after the tide has receded and all the washed up sea creatures are dying. 8 out of 10.

Hornswoggle is what you get when you try to take back a Changeling. Reeks of diapers and rash ointment. 6 out of 10.

Bray Wyatt smells like a poop that you kept inside you for too long. He is terrible. 10 out of 10.

The Authority's Director of Operations has a pleasing odor of sassafras and vanilla. Unfortunately, one can detect an under smell of dead cat. 5 out of 10.

Have you ever microwaved a hot dog and then forgot about it for a week or two? Pour some fish oil on top of it and you have the scent of Mr. McMahon. Also smells like money. Like, a lot of it. 5 out of 10.

Sadly, the Hulkster smells like the tears of a fallen angel. Don't do it, Hulk. She ain't worth it. 10 out of 10.

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