Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Is Game of Thrones Terrible?


I've stuck it out for quite awhile. I've read all of the books, and they certainly had their problems. Let my eyes glaze over while Brienne of Tarth does something stupid. Let my eyes roll when yet another scene of gratuitous violence and sex is shown. Kept myself awake for Peter Dinklage, for the merest hint of dragons. Yet it is becoming clearer. Game of Thrones kind of sucks.

Game of Thrones is a great idea. Let's take Tolkien's fantasy troupes and make them adult. Let's explore medieval feudalism, violence, the role of women in early society. But it's the absence of narrative that kills this series. Nothing has happened. Nothing happens in the books, and after five seasons, we're still waiting for Danny to cross the ocean with her dragons. We're still waiting on the White Walkers to invade Westeros and cause hell. We're still waiting on any sort of Stark revenge. We're waiting on Bran to become a wizard. We're waiting on Stannis to seize the iron throne. We're waiting on somebody to decapitate the Boltons. Damn it, Game of Thrones. You're a goddamn cock tease.

Meanwhile, the show (and the books, oh God, how the books do this) focuses on minor characters, of which there are millions. I don't care about Brienne and Podrick. I don't care about what happens in Dorne. Davos is the most boring character ever created. Theon Greyjoy became pointless once he was castrated and tortured. Does anyone care if his meaningless character is redeemed? Or does he just exist so that the show can brutalize someone every episode?

Violence becomes meaningless once overexposed. It loses its shock value. Game of Thrones is like a Cormac McCarthy novel. People die because people die. People are raped because people are raped. That's great, Game of Thrones. Sometimes violence is meaningless in real life. But you're fiction. Fiction is supposed to mean something.

Somebody tell me what Game of Thrones is about. Somebody relate the plot of the series. Are you having trouble? That's because the plot is so convoluted, so twisted and filled with deus ex machina that it's rendered nonsensical, if not nonexistent. Shit just happens in Game of Thrones so that they can put out another episode. Take Sansa Stark for example. Sansa is put through worse things than any other character. She watches her father become executed. As far as she knows, her entire family is gone. But you watch her being tutored by Littlefinger, and you think that she might become a master manipulator like him, and then the show has her marry the sadist Ramsey Bolton (which does not happen in the novels) and her character arc is completely destroyed. Sansa gets raped because that's what happens to Sansa. She's like Job at this point. Bad things, nonsensical things, just happen to her, because. Because why? Because this show is written by people with no sense of narrative structure. This show is written by people who do not know how to develop a character. This show is written by people who don't know what Game of Thrones is about, besides gratuitous violence and nudity. In short, this show is written by children.

 Fuck you, Sam, you fat pussy. You are an obvious author proxy, and you suck.

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