Eating leftovers? Nah, that ain't me.
Lifting up the seat before urinating? Bro, that definitely ain't me.
Drinking gasoline on a Sunday? That ain't me.
Using protection during sex? Nah, that ain't me.
Vegetables? Hell, that ain't me.
Cleaning up after myself? That ain't me.
Recycling? Bro, I'm serious, that ain't me.
Going a day without jerking it? That ain't me.
Jesus? That ain't me.
Crocodile Dundee? That ain't me, bro.
Reading a book? Sure as shit ain't me.
Leg day? That ain't me.
Highway travel? Certainly ain't me.
Paying for fiddle faddle? WTF? That ain't me.
Paying bills? Shit, that ain't me.
Small talk? That ain't me.
Personal hygiene? Ain't me, bro.
Chick flick? Ain't me.
No hair spray for a day? That ain't me.
Passing on grass? That ain't me.
Mowing the lawn? Fuck no, that ain't me.
Meeting your parents? Forget it. That ain't me.
A sandwich without mayo? That ain't me.
You have a friend named Patrice? Shit, that ain't me.
Taxes? Ain't me.
Sober swimming? Ain't me.
Consensual sex? Hell, that ain't me.
Brushing my teeth? That ain't me, bro. That ain't me.
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