This, my friends, is not art.
It is that time of year again when the greeting card companies deign to make us feel guilty for being spawned, and so we must scurry about and discover something appropriate to present to our sire, despite whatever role he may have in continuing the patriarchy (Dad, I'm looking at you). Surely many of you have put little to no thought in your gift purchases; you see a talking plastic bass and you think "Dad has to have that," and this is why your father loathes the very sight of you, you terrible disappointment. But really, when we get down to it, all sons and daughters are disappointments to their fathers, simply because children are nothing more than vessels for which one can project all their failed dreams and aspirations. But I digress. Let us take a look at some of the gifts I suspect you of buying for your dad this Fathers' Day.