This is a pikture when I was a boy. I always had a goode smile.
I got in trouble at work yester for loafin' about. My boss, ol' Sam, he don't like us loafin' and smoking cigaretees while we're pickin' apples, 'cuz sometimes the cigarette butts get trown in with the apples, and dat cushtomers find 'em, since Sam don't like washin' the apples like he should, which ain't goode, 'cuz he likes to nuke the orchard to kill all the buggies and funjuses. I think Sam really wants to kill that Bigfoot he be seeing all the time prancin' about the orchard, though I imagine you'd need a lot of pesticides to kill a Bigfoot. Maybe I outta take the initiative and sit out one night wit my .22 and a David Bowie knife and lie in wait for that Bigfoot to saunter under my apple tree. I think I coud take 'em: Bigfoot ain't that tough, and I bet he's half as ornery as Slack when he's got the herpe showin' all over his face, and consequentiially can't get no love from any of his ladies.
Which brings me to my next point: its hard gettin' love in dis town. Ive been doin' my best and tryin' to bathe every three days and keep my teethers brushed, but I sweers by the moon and the stars in the skye that can't get me no legitmate date. Deres this girl who runs the drive by liquor store and she's always struttin' her stuff in Daisy Dukes, so the last time I was dere I told 'er I'd a like to get to know 'er better and take her out on the town, maybe to some nice place like Ponderosa. She says dat she would be happy to come, but she's herd about town dat I got the herpe. I told 'er that that's an egregious error, and my brotha Slack is the one who actually has the herpe. That didn't work, though; she says the herpe is mighty contagius, and it's likaly that I got it from livin' wit Slack and sharin' the same quarters as he. I decid to just roll with it and I tell her that yes, I got the herpe, but I don't spread inbetween outbreaks. She gives me a good smile, and tells me she'll meet me at the Ponderosa. Score one for the goon and the herp! I'll haave to member to brush my teethers extra good dat night.