Friday, May 20, 2016

My Baby Should Definitely Turn Heel


There are some problems with the way my baby has been booked lately. Sure, he has that natural baby-face charm. He can certainly get the crowd on his side. His ring-work has been spot on, and you just can't help but root for the guy. Yet he's taking losses that he shouldn't. That baby down the street--Jefferson, or what the hell his name is--that kid botches every finish. Last week my baby gave that kid the match of his life. That kid's where he is on the card because of my baby. You see, my baby is a natural at putting others over. He's also an ass.

As I was changing his diaper yesterday, he looked me straight in the eye and then shot a stream of piss out of his little wiener that completely soaked my shirt. Dude has like a 10 foot arc on his stream. I know he did it on purpose. Sometimes when I'm feeding him, he fusses and fusses and throws his head around like he's a dinosaur. You can't please my baby when he's acting like that. And he knows it.

You want to see a crowd absolutely turn on someone? Then book my baby as a heel. He'll be slapping signs out of kid's hands. He'll say terrible things about the local sports team. He'll use eye gouges and hidden steel chairs to win matches. Kid's a natural, really. Hell, sometimes he doesn't poop for an entire day just so I'll have to change a huge blow out when he can't hold it in any longer. Doesn't that scream heel?

My baby is always dressing like a heel, too.

My baby should totally be in a program with Jericho for a while so that the heel dad can show him the ropes. Then, after trust is established, have my baby go over Y2J with a vicious assault. Then you can watch as a star is born. Eventually they'll have to turn him face again because he'll get so over. You want the next Rock? Then turn my baby heel.

Also, if my baby need a manager, I could be of service. Somebody has to change his diapers, after all.

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