Saturday, May 28, 2016

A Satantic Interpretation of Hanson's MMMBop


You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast


In this first verse, Hanson explain the futility of having any sort of relationship with anyone besides Satan. Unlike human relationships, demonic bonds are eternal, and if you're gong to get hurt anyway, might as well be by a professional.

So hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
And when you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care
Can you tell me who will still care?


The Prince of Darkness cares, and will always be there for you through the good and the bad. Despite your human mortality, your eternal soul belongs to Satan, and he will always treasure it.

Mmmbop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du bop, ba duba dop
Ba du, yeah


Seemingly nonsense, this refrain is actually an ancient Aramaic prayer to Beelzebub, pledging one's devotion to the Lord of Flies. The surprising catchiness is by design; Beelzebub was the patron god of Semetic pop music, in addition to his other demonic titles.

                                            A contemporary depiction of the Lord of Flies.

Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows
Oh, no one knows


Always recruiting for his undead army, Satan casts a large net, favoring a mass approach, even if it doesn't always succeed. The seeds of Satanism can grow anywhere; you have to keep planting to find out who is compatible.

Can you tell me? oh
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me? oh yeah
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me? oh (Which flower's going to grow?)
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me? (If it's going to be a daisy or a rose?)
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me? oh (Which flower's going to grow?)


Hanson laments the fact that they can't tell who will be a good Satanist and who won't. They resort to the same planting/flower analogy they used in the previous verse. Really, these Hanson guys are kind of hacks when it comes to diabolic imagery. They're no Megadeth, I'll tell you that. 

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