Star Wars: Dark Forces Remastered Impressions

 

Here's my Dark Forces walkthrough, which is still a work in progress.

Star Wars: Dark Forces was one the essential games of my childhood. Originally played on a hand-me-down 486 (I think), I remember struggling to get the sound working, as well as frequently getting lost for hours in the game's labyrinthine levels. Having just completed the fourth mission of Nightdive's excellent remaster, I've found that Dark Forces' levels aren't as bad as I remember; however, I have a good twenty plus years of video games experience on my younger self, and I've also learned how to play attention to details, which was an ability I struggled with during my youth (I may have had ADHD symptoms as a kid). Anyways, Dark Forces holds up really well as long as you approach it in the right mindset. Video games from the nineties often treated level navigation as a puzzle, and if you play Dark Forces while constantly paying attention to every nook and cranny, then I don't think you'll find it as frustrating as if you just turned your brain off and raced through to an inevitable dead-end. Nightdive have cleaned up Lucasart's classic, giving it achivements, support for modern resolutions and framerates, as well as improving the textures and sprite-based models of enemies. The result is a remaster that feels and looks great to play on modern systems. Somehow, there's never been a Star Wars shooter that surpassed Dark Forces. The weapons are fun to use, with the iconic E11 stormtrooper rifle being an inaccurate, fast-firing staple that you'll frequently rely upon. Dark Forces really nails the look and sound of Star Wars. The sprawling military installations with questionable safety standards; bottomless abysses and slimy sewers full of garbage monsters. It's still the closest movie approximation to feeling like Luke in A New Hope, racing down the halls of Death Star, blasting stormtroopers. My only complaint is that I feel as though the remaster might be a tad expensive at 30 bucks (I picked it up for 26 on Steam), considering that this is a really old game that will stump many. But then again, I really enjoy playing these updated games, and I know that Nightdive needs to make a profit. Let's hope they remaster every game in the series.

Weightlifting: My Hypertrophy Routine

 

Is there some CGI going on here, or did Chris Hemsworth transform into a 70's bodybuilder?

Because I'm old (38!), sore, and perpetually tired, I decided to abandon my PR every week workout methodology, despite its effectiveness at getting me stronger. The constant stress from hitting heavy weights every day eventually took its toll, so I've switched to bodybuilding with its more manageable stressors. It's been pretty fun so far; in over a decade of lifting weights, I've never really trained primarily for physique, and so it's been an interesting challenge. Focusing on the powerlifts have given me big pecs, quads, glutes, traps, and spinal erectors, but my shoulders, arms, and calves could use a little bulking up. As a subscriber to Dr. Mike's Israetel's Youtube channel, I noticed his Transform Your Body Like Thor workout plan seemed to check most of the boxes for what I was looking when it comes to a bodybuilding routine. Being a basement lifter, as well as someone who didn't totally want to abandon the powerlifts, I've made some adjustments. Here's a summary of the plan (Thanks ShawnProctor1, who copied it out in the Youtube comments.)

RP's Thor Workout Plan: Day 1: Back, Shoulders, Arms. Barbell Bent Over Rows, Underhand pull-ups, Dumbbell lateral raises, Dumbbell bicep curls, Tricep overhead EZ Bar Ext. *2 sets (10-15 reps) 

Day 2: Chest, Legs, Abs. High Bar Squats, High Bar Good Mornings, Incline dumbbell press, Slant board sit-ups *2 sets (10-15 reps) 

Day 3: Back, Shoulders, Arms. Cable cross-body lateral raises, Barbell upright rows, Chest-supported rows, EX bar bicep curls, Cable tricep pushdowns *2 sets (15-20 reps) 

Day 4: Chest, Legs, Abs. Machine flat chest press, Hanging leg raises, Dumbbell lunges, Dumbbell stiff-legged deadlift *2 sets (10-15 reps)  

Day 5: Back, Shoulders, Arms. Overhand pull-ups, Inverted rows, Cable bicep curls, Dumbbell incline curls, Skull crushers, Cable overhead tricep extensions, Cable upright rows *2 sets (10-15 reps) 

Progression plan: At first, 3 RIR for all lifts. Tuesdays and Thursdays. 2 sets per ex, but add rep or 5 pounds most weeks Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays. If not challenging, add 1 set per ex. Deload every 4-8 weeks Only Tuesday and Thursday. Reduce weights, sets, and reps by 50 percent Do program 8-16 weeks. Assess progress. Repeat or, if bored, change component exercises.

Here's my routine, using the same basic layout and most of the same exercises. The rep range, however, changes from 8 to 12, due to the fact that I'm utilizing an undulating periodization scheme with my powerlifts. Also, some exercises have been changed to fit what equipment I actually have. Chest training has been moved to the other upperbody days because of my preference for an upper/lower body split.

Day 1. Chest, Back, Shoulders, Arms. Bench Press for 3 sets of 12. Dumbbell Rows for 3x10-12. Upright row for 3 sets of 10. Barbell curls for 3 sets of 10. Dumbbell triceps extensions 3 sets of 10.

Day 2. Legs, Glutes, Abs, Lower Back. High bar squats 3 sets of 12. Good mornings for 3 sets of 10. Calf raises 3 sets of 10-12. Hanging knee raises 3 sets of 12.

Day 3. Chest, Back, Shoulders, Arms. Close-grip Bench Press for 4 sets of 8. Pullups for 4 sets of 8. Dumbbell curls for 3 sets of 10 to 12 reps. Dumbbell triceps extensions or pressdowns for 3 sets of 12 reps. Upright rows or side laterals for 3 sets of 10-12 reps.

Day 4. Leg, Glutes, Abs, Lower Back. High bar squats for 4 sets of 8. Barbell stiff-legged deadlifts for 2 sets of 8. Crunches for 3 sets of 10-12. Calf raises for 3 sets of 12 reps.

Day 5. Back, Shoulders, Arms. Barbell Bent-over row 3 sets of 12 reps. Incline dumbbell curls 4 sets of 10 reps. Pressdowns 4 sets of 10. Side laterals 2 sets of 10.

So in the same spirit with the same bodypart focus, but with more barbell exercises and a lower rep range for some workouts. My program is meant to be run for five weeks or so before transitioning to a 10 to 6 rep routine. Big exercises that do 3 sets of 12 switch to 3 sets of 10 (Squat, Bench Press, BB Row), while the days that have 4 sets of 8 switch to 4 sets of 6 (second squat day, Close-grip Bench, Stiff legged Deadlift). That way, strength is maintained, even while the bodybuilding work (the curls, raises, pressdowns, etc,) stays in the high rep range. Weight or reps should be added every week. Like Dr. Mike's routine, a deload is recommended when needed.

Lies of P; Resident Evil 2 Remakes; Vampire Survivors; the Value of Gamepass

 

The RE engine looked modern even in 2019.

Game Pass is a phenomenal value, with hundreds of titles available, and new games coming all the time. Recently, I've played through Resident Evil 2, as well as devoted many hours to Vampire Survivor and Lies of P, not to mention titles like Cocoon, Halo Infinite, and Sunset Overdrive. If you're the sort of compulsive consumer who likes to try something out and then bounce on to the next dopamine hit, then Game Pass is right up your alley. I have to admit that I'm trending this way, even though I get a lot of satisfaction out of completing a game. There are so many great games released every year, and so little time to play them all that the cards are stacked against you. Still, in a world that seems to value attention less and less by the second, I'm not sure if the Game Pass mentality is healthy. If you have 60 or 70 bucks invested in a game, you're more likely to stick with it and give it the time it deserves. Sometimes, art is initially difficult or complicated, but by investing your attention, you are able to wring out meaning and value that you would never obtain through more simple, accessible media. Also worth mentioning is the subscription hellscape that Microsoft would like us to embrace. As primarily a PC user, I already don't really own my games--I own them as long as Steam is around--and it sucks that we're moving toward a diskless future on console. I remember buying Dishonored 2 on disk, and being disappointed that I had to download nearly the entire game. Big tech would love us to forfeit the idea of ownership, because they'll have all the power in such a relationship. So even though Game Pass is a great value, I'm canceling my subscription, for the sake of my attention span and as a rebuke of the whole idea. I'm sure the suits at Microsoft will really notice, heh.

Anyway, here are a few mini reviews of what I've been playing.

Resident Evil 2 Remake: a really great survival horror experience, and probably my favorite of the series so far (I've only played RE:Village and the RE:3 remake). Steering Leon Kennedy through Raccoon City's police station and its underworld is tense. The unkillable Mr. X might pop out of any corner, or you could run out of ammo after attracting a Lurker's attention, or you might not have had the foresight to keep that wheel in your inventory so that you could fit it on a valve and turn off that wall of steam blocking your path. Inventory management, when to shoot and when to run, and hunting down codes for upgrades forms the bulk of RE:2's gameplay loop, and it is simply fantastic pretty much the whole way through. It's also not a ridiculously long game, clocking in at about 12 hours or so. One of the best games on Game Pass.

Vampire Survivor: This goofy little roguelike is like crack for your brain. You proceed through a variety of open, randomly-generated stages, focusing on obtaining weapons (Santa Water and the Whip are two of my favorites) that your character automatically shoots in whatever direction you are facing. Your aim is to evolve your weapons into their final form, and to last as long as you can until the 30 minute time limit is reached, and death spawns to shuffle you away. It doesn't sound particularly compelling, but I've spent nearly 20 hours in Vampire's pixalated nightmare, and that's more than most roguelikes get out of me.

Lies of P: A day one Game Pass title, Lies of P is a really good Soulslike that I just couldn't finish. Laxasia, one of the final bosses, did me in with her second phase, and I'm a real hater of two stage fights where it takes a long time to get to the second stage. Still, it's a really cool game with excellent combat and unique enemies (puppet monstrosities and mutated monsters) set in a memorable dark fantasy version of Pinocchio. I wish there was multiplayer summoning like in From Soft's games, because I probably would've been able to beat the game had that been the case. I don't have time to git gud anymore, folks.

Bad Poetry: Mirror

 

There are lines and hairs

And wrinkles around stares

Rimmed with black pits

Of unsleeping darkness

Keeping us awake

As we shuffle through

Our rancid stew

Of memories traded and faded

And bladed until the pieces

Refuse to fit together.

When I look in the mirror

I see myself sleeping in the daytime.

I don't see a stranger but I see

Someone else who is turning 

Into me

Piece by 

Piece by

Piece.

 

 

To All the Second Amendment Defenders

 

 Same shit, different day.

To all the Second Amendment defenders:

I wish you would just admit that you don't care how many people or kids get murdered. You don't know them; they aren't you. They're not your kids, and if they were, maybe you would still support the ownership of firearms, since you're supporting a morally indefensible position, which would indicate that you're a person of questionable morality. The lives don't matter; what matters is that you have the power to kill, a power that you didn't earn, a power that you obtained with no sacrifice, no discipline, and no responsibility. That power was freely given. No questions were asked about your mental acumen or your reasons for wanting to own a firearm. You were not required to undergo any training to prove your fitness for owning a deadly weapon, you were simply given one and told to have at it. You have the power to make someone's life disappear in an instant with a pull of a trigger, and it's granted to you with the frivolity of a purchase at Wal-mart. And you're cool with all of that? This is how it should be, and there's no changing it, and every so often the tree of liberty must be watered with the blood of all the innocents who've died because of America's gun obsession? 

 

I feel as though America is dying from its own disease. 

The Conan Brothers Q&A

 

ClusterBuck asks "2024, huh? You guys have any New Year's resolutions?"

Dave: New Year's Resolutions are for losers.

Arnold: So yes, we have plenty.

Dave: Stay jacked as I approach middle-age, outlast the coming political storm, improve my mental health.

Arnold: Recovery is an issue as I continue to lift into my mid-thirties. Sore connective tissue in my back and chest, elbow issues--it all sucks. As does the persistent feeling of tiredness that seems to accompany any hard labor.

Dave: Gotta up them PEDs.

Arnold: I started taking fish oil, although apparently it doesn't do anything as a supplement. A friend recommended collegian. I'm on a forced layoff from the weights after I sprained an ankle. I haven't taken a break from pumping iron for a full week in god knows how long.

Dave: You have to learn how to back off.

Arnold: The problem is that I enjoy lifting heavy and PRing too much to do that, Dave.

Dave: 'Tis the hardcore lifter's dilemma.

Arnold: This ain't no free ride. Life's not supposed to be pain free.

...

GamingPunky asks "What are you guys playing?"

Dave: Vampire Survivor.

Arnold: A mindless roguelite that's basically crack for your brain.

Dave: Also, Resident Evil 2.

Arnold: The remake. It's so good. The survival horror gameplay loop of unlocking new areas, inventory management (do I keep extra ammo for my pistol, or do I leave inventory space for any new items?), unkillable enemies (Mr. X!), and light puzzling is just exquisite. Still looks great, too.

Dave: I've also been trying to beat Halo Infinite's campaign on Legendary. On the Harbinger. That fight is such bullshit.

Arnold: Halo Infinite is much better than what hardcore gaming circles think. But it definitely has too many ridiculous boss fights. Bullet-sponge enemies are never fun.

...

 MargoRobberton asks "How do you guys avoid the winter blues?"

Dave: Lots of alcohol. Dnd. Too much time playing video games.

Arnold: Go outside. This has been a mild winter (thanks, climate change!). Take a walk.

Dave: Are you going to follow your own advice with your sprained ankle?

Arnold: Yes, in fact. It's not like it could get anymore swollen.

New Music: Lost without End

 

A blues song that encapsulates the saying "down and out." You've been down and out if you've tried to rip a bush out of a McDonald's parking lot, or woken up in a ditch with a trash panda as your sole companion. One of those two statements is a true story... I wrote this in about twenty minutes, just in the spur of the moment. Sometimes songs just fall out of the ether.

Video Game Review: Sunset Overdrive

 

Sunset Overdrive is an irreverent open-world action game developed by Insomniac before they were purchased by Sony. It was originally released in 2014 for the X Box One, but a PC port came out in 2018, which is the version I've been playing through Game Pass. You play as some poor smuck who ends up in the middle of a mutant apocalypse after a bunch of amped-up concert goers consume an energy beverage called Overcharge. The game has a Warped Tour vibe, with a punk soundtrack and juvenile humor, and a story that's really just background for mutant-bashing. What Sunset Overdrive really excels at is movement. Your character can grind on narrow surfaces, bounce on cars and overhangs, wall-run on the side of buildings, and dash in mid-air. Doing all this generates Style, which is necessary to unlock Overdrives, which are combat and movement upgrades used to upgrade and customize your character. Once you get the hang of movement, just moving your character through the environment is an absolute thrill. Insomniac are great at this; Spider-man is fun just swinging around New York, and you can see a lot of that sort of consideration in Sunset Overdrive. The arsenal is also a hoot. You'll get a rocket launcher that shoots explosive teddy bears; a shotgun that can light mutants on fire; a roman candle missile launcher, and a stun gun that shoots disks that electrocute enemies. Fighting mutants and scabs (your garden variety apocalyptic raider) while bouncing on cop cars like a punked-out Mario is great fun.

The quest design is somewhat repetitive, which is one of my criticisms of the game. You'll encounter various factions, all of which are pretty loony (a group of LARPers who are divorced from reality; a power-hungry boy scout leader), and you'll have to do some busy work for them, which will involve fetching an item while killing mutants. Still, Sunset Overdrive has a good sense of humor, and one of its running gags is that if your character dies, he comes back in some ridiculous way, like in a rocket or out of a portal. Mario-like noises beep when you pick up a health item, and the bouncing sound when jumping off of a car hood is a comical boing.

Performance leaves a little to be desired. Despite being an older game, there's some stuttering as you move around the world, likely due to assets being loaded on the fly. Given that I'm running Sunset Overdrive on a Ryzen 7 5800x, an eight-core CPU leagues beyond the humble X Box One, I'm assuming that the porting process was not perfect. Graphically, it's stylized enough to not look too dated, and you can see the roots of Spider-man in this engine.

Sunset Overdrive reminds me of games like Just Cause. The whole point of gameplay is to have fun moving around the world while causing destruction, and anyone who's a fan of Insomniac's work should definitely check it out. Here are a few screenshots below:

  

Weightlifting: 150 lbs Press for 9

 

Another press PR in two weeks. I haven't regularly military pressed for almost a year, yet I'm hitting PRs in a lift that I've always struggled with. My theory is that you're better off bench pressing than utilizing the strict press as your main press, because the weights are a lot heavier, allowing you to strengthen your triceps, which then carries over to other pressing movements. The front delts just don't seem to be much of a factor; either bench pressing is enough for them, or they aren't the limiting factor in the military press. Other than light front raises, I haven't done much for my front delts besides bench pressing.

	1RM	2RM	3RM	4RM	5RM	6RM	7RM	8RM	9RM	10RM	12RM
Low Bar Squat	415	380	365	350	360		340	320		315	275
High Bar Squat	390	365	350	345	340		315	320		300
High Bar Squat (Paused)	365		315	300	275
High Bar Squat (No Belt)	365	335	325	325	330			285	295	250
Front Squat	315	300	300	275	270	265	245	225	215	225
Bench Press	315	290	280	275	270	260	255	250	245	235	225
Bench Press (Paused)	300	280	270	260	250	240	245	235	230	225
Overhead Press	195	185	175	170	170	160	155	150	150	145	135
Deadlift	510	470	455	425	425	415	410	390	405	360
Deadlift (No Belt)	460		450			400	405		365	340
Sumo Deadlift	455	435	435	420	410					315
LB SQ no belt	380	350	345	330	335	315	315	300	295	275	275
Push Press	230	205	205	195	185
Barbell Rows	315	305	295		275						225
Close Grip	295	280	270	265	255	250	245	240	235	240	225
Clean and Push Press	205	175	185		160

The Esteemed Critic Reviews Chinatown; The Blues Brothers

 

Chinatown, the 1974 film directed by Roman Polanski, is a neo-noir featuring Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway in their prime. Often considered one of the greatest movies of all time, the Critic found it rather captivating, if a bit of a bummer. Polanski is a filmmaker I have shied away from, due to his past as a sex offender, and although there is plenty to like in his direction (this movie looks real despite being noir; the shadows and rain don't swallow everything) it is Nicholson who steals the show. I know Jack mainly from fare like Batman and The Departed where he more or less played Jack Nicholson the movie star rather than a character in a film. This is not so in Chinatown; Nicholson's Jake Gittes is a man who has been burned, and who will stop at nothing to figure out what exactly is going on with Dunaway's Evelyn Mulwray, whose husband has been found drowned. The plot concerns water rights, and while that sounds boring, the pacing and beauty of the film ensures Chinatown stays captivating. There's some graphic violence, and Nicholson spends half the movie with a huge bandage on his nose, which is perhaps an intentional commentary on Hollywood's obsession with looks. A movie worth seeing.

For a fellow of a certain age, The Blues Brothers is the ultimate good-time flick. Showcasing a who's-who of blues and rhythm greats, including James Brown, Aretha Franklin, John Lee Hooker, and Cab Calloway, Blues Brothers follows petty criminals and musicians Jake and Elwood Blues as they attempt to get their band back together for one last gig to save the orphanage that raised them. Jake and Elwood are more myths than characters, with Belushi's role played straight-faced with barely an eyebrow raised, but they move from one set-piece to the next with an almost surrealist glee. From a car chase through a shopping mall to a bad gig at a country bar, this is a movie with no fat, all killer, no filler. One has to wonder at the number of cop cars totaled--this ain't CGI, folks, they really did all this shit--and contemplate whether we've lost something in this era of greenscreens. Could you make a movie like this today? Hell no! And that's why The Blues Brothers is worthy of being considered amongst the greatest films of all time.

Donald Trump the Person Is Not Donald Trump the God-King

 

How they see him.

The reality.

While dropping my kid off at school, I noticed two bumper stickers on the car in front of me. One sticker had Trump's visage with the phrase "Miss me yet?" while the other proclaimed "Believe that there is still good in the world." I almost pulled out my phone to take a picture, but alas, I did not. I have never seen a better example of double-think. It is almost unimaginable to visualize the amount of cognitive dissonance someone would have to possess to believe in both Donald Trump and hope. You can only believe in both if you have conjured up a version of Donald Trump so divorced from reality that he doesn't resemble in the slightest the real-world person. Let's examine some of Trump's bonafides:

-.He has declared bankruptcy six times.

- Trump has been accused of sexual assault numerous times and been convicted of sexually abusing E. Jean Caroll in civil court.

- He has a long history of racist comments and actions.

- He's currently spending a lot of time in court, having been indicted four times for business fraud in New York, election interference in Georgia, for stealing classified documents, and for attempting to steal the 2020 Presidential election.

-  Trump has a long history of saying and doing stupid things, including looking directly into a solar eclipse and proclaiming himself a stable genius.

- He was best buddies with sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.

- Oh yeah, he also politicized the Covid-19 pandemic, downplaying its effects and criticizing mitigating precautions, leading to the deaths of over a million people.

Flesh and blood Donald Trump is a narcissist, a failed business man, a corrupt President with blood on his hands. He is a stupid, stupid person with almost no redeeming qualities, yet he just won the Iowa caucus with 52 percent of the vote. What are Republican voters thinking? Do they actually like the fascism that Trump is selling?

Do they even care?

MAGA Republicans (all Republicans, in other words) live in a media bubble of Fox News, Facebook posts, and real-world groupthink. None of the media they consume reports on Trump's many crimes and failings. If they hear about something, they dismiss it as partisan or untrue. They refuse to contemplate Trump the person because facts have no place in the argument for them. They have faith in Donald Trump the Messiah, Trump the God-King. He is a religious figure to them. This is Trump with Rambo's body, Trump the wall-builder, Trump the virtuous, bowing his head in piety as he sits in church with his family.

 Jesus loves corrupt businessmen and pussy-grabbers, it says so in the Bible.

We're talking about a man whose own charity was a scam, a man who reportedly called dead veterans "losers" and "suckers." This is a guy who often mused what it would be like to have sex with his own daughter, who bragged on record to Billy Bush that he liked to "grab them (women) by the pussy." When Trump said that he could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue in New York and not lose any voters, he's admitting that he understands the duality of his nature. His voters see him like they see Jesus. Donald Trump the God-King is God's vessel that will bring back America's Golden Age, when there were no transgenders or gays, when women stayed home and made perfect white babies while the men fucked around at the office, getting loaded and going to strip clubs after work. None of this shit makes any sense; the irony that the man least suited to be the avatar of Jesus Christ on Earth is embraced by 99 percent of evangelicals is incomprehensible only if you think that evangelicals believe any of the shit they spew. Likewise, the MAGA faithful choose to hold two opposing truths in their minds. Belief doesn't necessarily have to have logical consistency. Faith is not about evidence or truth. Faith is about believing in something or someone no matter what your eyes or other senses tell you. Faith is hope.

Suddenly the two bumper stickers make more sense. The problem is that Donald Trump the person is not Donald Trump the God-King, and no amount of emotional reasoning or faith will make Trump into the messiah they want him to be. Donald Trump the person has vowed to be a dictator on day one and to seek revenge on those who wronged him. Look no further than the human and economic ravage Trump wrought through his mishandling of the pandemic for ample evidence of his incapacity to govern, or his many attacks on our democratic institutions for what he will do if given a second chance. Remember: Jesus may love you, but Trump doesn't care if you die in the snow, as long as you vote for him.

 

Behold, the God-Emperor of Arrakis.