What's that, Master? Is it time for a walk? I will do my best to destroy the harness before you put it on me. Yes, it is firmly ensnared between my jaws, as I intended. This is an amusing game we play, isn't it? You try to tear the harness from my teeth and I clench down as hard as I can. A-hah, you win again. Your fingers are delicate, Master. Let me bite them for you.
Oh, the outside is wonderful, is it not? Is that a frozen cat turd? Why do you restrain me, Master? Do you not know the deliciousness of petrified cat feces? 'Tis a treat unparalleled in the dog world. I must fight you, Master. You do not know what you deny me.
There, a stranger across the street! I will pull you to them, Master! Hurry, hurry, before they flee! Surely they will want to be clawed across the face and will reward me for pouncing upon their person! Why are you screaming? They want to pet me!
All apologies, Master. I am sorry that you fell because I had to lunge suddenly at a soiled taco bell wrapper. Your bruised knees and curses are worth it, I assure you. This wrapper tastes like garbage. Mmmumm, most delicious.
No, no, no, this is not the time to cross the street. I am sniffing here, Master. You don't understand. I detect the faintest whiff of cat urine on this particular spot. I'm sure the car will stop before it hits us. It's a risk I'm willing to take.
What, now that we're home, you don't want to play? Why can't you sacrifice your new shoe to my destructive urges? Well, if you're going to put that one back, I'm going to get another one.
Oh, this bread and plastic taste so good. What, why are you taking them from me? It was on the counter. Fair game, Master! If I can expend every effort to reach it, then I deserve to have a piece. Or the whole loaf.
This couch is not for me, eh? Then why does Mommy let me lie on it? Explain it to me, Master. I am good dog. I'm sure you won't mind if I indulge in a little casual pillow destruction. Mommy won't mind. As I said, I am good dog.
Hey! You there! Moving shadow across the window! Stop I said! Did you see it, Master? Did you see? Something moved over there! Who knows what it could be? We must raise the alarm! Intruder! Intruder!
I swear I saw something, Master. I better raise the alarm again to see if I can flush it out. Why do you berate me so? I'm going to choose to interpret your shouting as joining in with my raising of the alarm. Yes, shout Master! Let them have it! They will never cross our window again!
Oh, this shoe is great. Most delicious! Here, Master. Why don't you have a taste? I will share it with you. If you can take it from me. What a fun game we play.
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