Bad Poetry: On The Death of a Nazi

 

You left behind

Two little children

And a beautiful wife

Had they been shot

By an assassin

It would have been "worth the cost"

In your words

So that we can have the right

To bear arms against each other.

When you said that

You weren't thinking of your family

Or yourself.

The people who died would be other people

Like the children killed in Colorado

The same day as you.

You couldn't stand empathy

As you said "A made up, New Age term"

And so I will not give it to you

As you would have preferred.

The New York Yankees gave you a moment 

Of silence

And so did Speaker Johnson

Because you were one of them

A spewer of hatred

Bigotry

And lies.

A rich white man was killed

And the children are forgotten.

Let us look in derision

At the life you led

And mourn the lives that were lost

To guns and demagoguery.

Let us mourn those lives

But not yours.

It is what you would have wanted.

Worth the cost, I'm sure

To someone other than you.  

Checking in with the Average Trump Supporting Family

We're deep into 2025, and it's been quite the shit-show, with Donald Trump dismantling the government, flagrantly breaking the law, and pushing the economy toward a recession, all while increasing his authoritarian agenda and managing an approval rating just a couple points underwater. What does the average Trump supporting family think? We're checking in with the Whites to get a pulse on how they feel the President is doing.

Pointless Venture: Howdy, Mr. White. What do you do for a living?

Mr. White: I own a window replacement business. As you can see, I'm doing pretty well.

Pointless Venture: That's terrific! I'm happy for you. What do you think of President Trump's performance so far?

Mr. White: The tariffs are hurting my business. My storm windows are made outside the United State, so I'm paying almost fifty percent more to import them. There isn't a domestic manufacturer that makes storm windows at an affordable price, so I'm left with no alternative. I've had to raise prices. Now I'm not getting the business that I used to.

Pointless Venture: So you're not happy with the tariffs? President Trump campaigned on them.

Mr. White: Yeah, but I didn't expect them to affect me directly. I thought the other countries were going to pay them, not us.

Pointless Venture: So you didn't know what a tariff is.

Mr. White: No, of course not! I'm not sure if the President does either, though.

Pointless Venture: So do you regret your vote for President Trump?

Mr. White: Hell no. He's cleaning out the cities of illegals. Hopefully he'll target the goddamn commies next.

Pointless Venture: President Trump's use of ICE to illegally deport US residents doesn't give you pause?

Mr. White: No. We need to get rid of the liberals and do-nothings.

Pointless Venture: You support the formation of a secret police force beholden to the President?

Mr. White: Now when did I say that? You're putting goddamn words in my mouth. To put it quite simply, I'm prepared to take an economic hit as long as the people I don't like get what they fucking deserve.

Pointless Venture: I see. The fascism is the point for you?

Mr. White: Yeah, I guess. Fascism is one of those fucking words you guys like to throw around like a sledgehammer. Well guess what. We're the ones swinging the hammer.

Pointless Venture: All right, thank you for your time, Mr. White. Let's move on to Mrs. White. Please introduce yourself.

Mrs. White: I'm a homemaker and proud mother of two beautiful children.

Pointless Venture: That's great. What sort of job do you think the President is doing?

Mrs. White: They're keeping the bad history out of schools, which is good. I also support RFK's efforts to remove colored food dyes, although I'm a little worried about being able to get the COVID vaccine.

Pointless Venture: You believe in COVID?

Mrs. White: Well, I didn't, but then Robert's dad got very sick after we visited him during the pandemic, and he almost died, and I've always felt as though we were responsible, because Timmy probably had COVID, he couldn't smell anything. Since then, I've always felt like we should get it when we get into cold season, but Robert doesn't feel that way.

Pointless Venture: Are you alarmed at the Trump administration's cuts to public health?

Mrs. White: I'm more alarmed at the cuts to the Department of Education. Jill is about to go to college, and her councilor told us that she might not be able to get any financial aid if they eliminate it.

Pointless Venture: What about your grocery bill? Has it gotten any cheaper?

Mrs. White: No, actually I'm spending almost fifty to seventy dollars more a week on groceries. Our electric is also going up. They're building one of those AI data centers close to us, and it's really hiked up our bill.

Pointless Venture: President Trump seems to be pretty friendly with the big tech CEOs that are pushing AI. Does that bother you?

Mrs. White: Yes. He said he would bring groceries down, but they've gotten more expensive. Also, my sister can't afford a house and she's been looking for a year. It seems like working families are really being squeezed.

Pointless Venture: Is the President to blame?

Mrs. White: I will say that everything was cheaper last year. I don't know, though. I don't follow the news.

Pointless Venture: Do you regret voting for Trump?

Mrs. White: No, absolutely not. I wasn't about to vote for a childless woman who slept her way to the top!

Pointless Venture: Donald Trump has been accused multiple times of sexual assault, and he was convicted of assaulting Jean E. Carroll in civil court.

Mrs. White: He's also a very famous, rich man. They have it out for him. They always have.

Pointless Venture: Thank you for your time. Can we speak with your children?

Timmy: Yo.

Jill: Hello.

Pointless Venture: You both look like you are of voting age. Did you vote for Trump?

Timmy: Hell yeah!

Jill: I didn't.

Pointless Venture: Why not, Jill?

Jill: He's a fascist.

Pointless Venture: Did you vote for Harris?

Jill: No, she supports genocide.

Pointless Venture: The Israeli-Palestinian situation has worsened since Trump took office.

Jill: Has it? I haven't paid much attention lately. It hasn't been on my feed.

Pointless Venture: So Timmy, do you think the President is doing a good job?

Timmy: I could use a job. I've been looking for months.

Pointless Venture: Do you think the hiring downturn is the President's fault?

Timmy: I dunno. Joe Rogan still seems to like him, so I guess maybe not?

Pointless Venture: Why did you vote for Trump?

Timmy: He's fucking hilarious. Also, he hates the feminists like I do.

Pointless Venture: What's a feminist, Timmy?

Timmy: That sounds like a liberal trap, commie. I'm not going to take the bait.

Pointless Venture: So have you had a date since you voted for the President?

Timmy: That's not your business, fucker! Dad, get this asshole out of the house.

Pointless Venture: Come on, Timmy. Answer the question. Have you ever touched a woman?

Timmy: Get your beta-cuck ass outta here, bro!

Pointless Venture: Thank you for your time.

The Whites: Fuck you!  

New Music: Music For Video Games: Booking It

 

This short instrumental rock song is dedicated to Neon White, a unique first-person platformer that's one of the best video games I've ever played. It's become something of a routine to do one of these every Sunday in an hour or two. It really helps my creative process that I have my computer, guitars, mics, and preamp all together in one room, ready to record. For years I used an ancient Athlon X2 PC from around 2007 to record upstairs in my attic, and all my stuff was spread out and disorganized. Keep your workspace tidy, people! Who the hell am I preaching to? Nobody reads this blog, haha.

 

New Music: Music For Video Games: Rallying Cry

 

This one is a hard rock track dedicated to team play games with your mates, like Helldivers 2. I used the Big Muff and it really tears through this song like a rampaging lion. 

New Music: Music For Video Games: Sneaker

 

A moody instrumental dedicated to those sneaky immersive sims like Thief and Dishonored. Man, I would probably give one of my organs for a new Deus Ex, Thief, or Dishonored, provided that some of the original devs were involved. I had a lot of fun with this song. I wrote it piece by piece, starting with the initial guitar riff and adding on from that.

New Music: Music For Video Games: FPS 1999

 

Who wants to get fragged? Shit, I'm so old I remember the days of being called a haxor. The internet was a beautiful thing back in 1999. You had to be either a kid who knew what was up or an actual nerd to "surf" the world wide web. Nowadays the internet just depresses us and makes us stupid. I guess Something Awful predicted the future with its motto.

FPS 1999 is a drop D riff-rocker inspired by Unreal Tournament's kick ass soundtrack which is probably my favorite video game soundtrack of all time. If you weren't riffing in drop D tuning, then you weren't a real alternative metal band back in the day.

New Music: Music For Video Games: Massive Space Effect

 

The first in an instrumental collection, Massive Space Effect is a techno-ambient ode to space operas and the vastness of the universe as represented in electronic entertainment. I came up with the piano chords today on a whim and then put together this ramshackle piece in about an hour. It's basically in D Dorian with the inclusion of a flattened fifth and then a key change to C major. 

It's Not Cool to Be a Loser

 

Uhhhgggg. Like who wants to do anything, right? I don't want to go outside. Outside, there are Trumpers, the patriarchy, war crimes, and sunlight. The world is irrevocably fucked, so why even care? Inside, I have all the things that I need.

Instead of thinking or doing things, I'd prefer to mindlessly scroll on my phone. Hit up Instagram, Tik-tok, Reddit, and a bunch of shit I don't even know what it's called. They call them Reels because they flash past your eyes and displace reality. They paint a beak, dystopian picture that weighs on my heart like a brick of lead. The algorithm provides and I shall feed from what I am served.

I have spent five-thousand hours of my life this past year playing video games. I have sat so long in this chair that on three occasions I have had to go to the hospital for my painful, impacted bowels. I paid forty dollars for this game a year ago, but I swear to god if they change a fucking thing to my displeasure this next update, I might have to kill something. The developers owe me because this game is my life. The progression and sense of adventure that living might have afforded me had I any ambition have been replaced by my character's level in the virtual world. Does it make sense to live like this? Despite all of my rage, am I, as Billy Corgan said, just a rat in a cage? Billy had enough perspective to know he was a fucking rat. I don't because loserdom has reached the mainstream. Some studies estimate that 60 percent of young men aren't dating. Why date when you can just jerk off and then play video games for hours?

Why try when you might fail?

There used to be cultural pressure that prevented the mass adoption of loserdom. When I was a kid, you didn't talk about video games all the time, because that's what nerds did. When I was in college, you went to parties even if you were an awkward dude, because how else were you going to meet someone? I might have only played beer pong once or twice, but by god, I played it and I lingered in the corners, trying to muster enough courage to speak to that cute girl in the hat across the room. Back in the past, if I wanted to go home and jerk off, I'd have to risk giving my computer the virtual equivalent of a thousand STDs. Nowadays, I can give an internet prostitute my credit card number and she'll suck on her toes or lick her armpits or indulge whatever weird fetish I've latched onto because my brain and libido have been mutated by the unreal volume of internet porn I've consumed over the last decade. Everyone does it! There's no shame when everyone is a big, fat loser.

I've got friends still, somehow. Every once in a while they'll ask me to do something. Usually I'll ghost them, because I prefer to stew in my depression, nursing my impacted bowels, rather than actually leave the house and do something. I got friends in the video game. Sure, I'll never meet them, but we have shared experiences, hours spent together killing aliens. The rat doesn't want to leave the cage, alright? He's been conditioned to pull the lever and get that sweet, sweet dopamine even if he's miserable inside. All the virtual stimulation in the world won't replace hanging out with your flesh and blood friends. All the limp masturbation doesn't replace actual sex with a real person. Five-thousand hours in a video game doesn't make a life.

Ehhh, fuck it. I can't get up. I'm old and fat and worn out, even if I'm only forty. Maybe tomorrow. Probably not, though.   

Bad Poetry: Turning Forty

 

Turning Forty

It's hot outside and I stink

The fetid odor of ammonia

Rising from beneath my shirt

To assault my nostrils.

Why does my chest hurt?

Why are my muscles always sore?

Truly, I am a physical marvel at my age

At this time

In this place.

So why do I feel like shit?

Why has a deep malaise settled in

Like fog seeping over the Ohio?

This mild discontent

Sours my birthday

And makes me think

Of death and time

And all the terrible malefactors

Presiding over the land of the free.

I just want to forget about news

The stressors of life

My job and all my sundry duties

Is that so much to ask?

Turns out, it is.

Welcome, friend, to adulthood.

You're middle-aged, bitch.

Most of us didn't make it this far.

Be thankful what you have.

 

New Music: There's Nothing That I Wouldn't Do

 

A dark murder ballad that I wrote a week or two ago on the piano, just hammering away on that D while slowing doing a Dorian walk up. I do like the bridge part a lot. It's a D minor to a C to a B diminished to a little blues riff involving a C-G# dyad. The chorus has a chromatic walk down that reminds me of 70's music. Although this sounds nothing like them, I have been listening to Steely Dan. 

Video Games Reviews: Slay The Spire; Hades; Returnal: Arkham Knight

 

Slay The Spire is one of my all-time favorites.

Slay The Spire: Another classic that I've only just recently gotten around to, Slay The Spire is a roguelike deck-builder, a mashup of genres that I've never been particularly interested in; however, I purchased the game for my son and checked it out after he abandoned it, and man, this shit is addictive. With four different characters, a ton of randomized relic and card drops, and a map that's never exactly the same, Slay The Spire has all the ingredients of a time vampire. It's a game about crafting strategies and adjusting on the fly, and you'll always find the time for another run. Really, I almost don't recommend it, because you'll have trouble stopping yourself from playing it.

Hades: Just like Slay The Spire, Hades has the roguelike formula down pat, although it actually makes demands of your reflexes unlike the aforementioned deck-builder. Where Hades really shines is its phenomenal art design and compelling cast of characters taken from Greek mythology. It's freaking hard, though, just like Slay the Spire. Also, I'm not quite in love with its gameplay, for unless you get the right Boons (powerups given by the Gods) you'll often find your hits underpowered. Still a classic worth twenty or one-hundred hours of your time.

Returnal: It looks great, with an aesthetic that borrows from H.R. Giger, but man, I can't quite get into Returnal after about ten hours. It's another roguelike, which is probably the issue. After spending so many hours dying in Slay the Spire and Hades, bashing my controller against the floor in Returnal is less desirable than it might be otherwise. It's a bullet-hell title, so dodging is more important than aiming, but I haven't even escaped from the first biome and there are apparently five in total, so maybe Returnal just demands more of my reflexes than I'm capable of giving at the moment.

Arkham Knight: The closing title of Rocksteady's Arkham trilogy, Arkham Knight was a title I grabbed off the Epic Games store a couple years ago when they were giving away free games like candy. It's amazing how well Arkham Knight's graphics hold up--if you updated the textures and patched in DLAA, you'd think it was a modern game and not 2015 title. The batmobile is the big gameplay addition, and it is admittedly pretty cool and fun to handle, even if some of those Riddler challenges demand a little too much of the physics system. Insomniac refined what Rocksteady did--Spider-man's combat system is a little more intuitive and he certainly gets around better than Batman and his wings--but they basically copied the whole design of their Spider-man games from Rocksteady's series. My only real complaint is that Arkham Knight is weighed down with countless mini-games and side quests that distract from its narrative. I'm sticking to the story, which is pretty good. Batman's hallucinating the Joker and might be actually turning into him due to some sort of blood disease, and he's got to find Scarecrow before he kills Barbara Gordon... well, you don't play these for the story, right? You feel like the Batman, and who doesn't want to pummel some jabronis into submission with your bat fists?