New Music: The Death of Rock 'n' Roll Is Premature

 

An instrumental homage to Alternative/Metal groups like Smashing Pumpkins, Tool, and Metallica (basically the shit that is tired now, but cutting edge when I was a kid), The Death of Rock 'n' Roll Is Premature is an atonal collection of riffs focused on E minor and featuring a lot of chromaticism. I tracked three guitars (my strat through my cheap Ibenez Tube Screamer; my strat through the Big Muff with my mini Crybaby Wah in a fixed position; and my Epiphone Dot through the Big Muff), a bass, and then did the drums through Reason with a drum pad. Does it sound perfect? Fuck no! Is it meant to be? Hell no!

Pointless Venture's Best Games of 2024

 

Resident Evil 4 (2024) was technically a 2023 game, but we don't care about that around here.

Man, what a year for gaming. This year, I played the following 18 titles (an asterisk denotes a title played to completion). 

Sunset Overdrive*

Resident Evil 2 (remake)*

Dark Forces Remastered*

Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty*

Warhammer 40,000:Boltgun*

Helldivers 2 (Multiplayer only)*

Evil West

Doom 2*

Senua's Saga: Hellblade 2*

Alan Wake 2*

Gears of War Ultimate Edition*

Still Wakes The Deep*

Callisto Protocol*

Black Myth: Wukong*

Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 2*

Ion Fury*

Resident Evil 4(2003 Remake)*

Tomb Raider 1-3 Remastered (Tomb Raider 1 completed*, Tomb Raider 2 about 80 percent finished)

 

Best Singleplayer Game: Black Myth:Wukong

Black Myth:Wukong is a soulslike based on "The Journey to the West" a seminal work of Chinese literature. Basically, it's Dark Souls, but with Unreal Engine 5 visuals and a compelling bestiary derived from Chinese mythology. This game challenged my reflexes, but in the end, I managed to complete it, defeating all of its hardest bosses (Yellow Long was tough, but nothing compared to Erlang, who I defeated purely with dumb luck). The opening forest is a visual feast, and every chapter has a different environment, from dry, sandy deserts and mountains, to icy woods and temples, to lava baked fields and celestial clouds. A compelling mix of exploration, soulslike combat, and incredible graphics, Black Myth:Wukong is my pick for best single player game of the year. If you enjoyed Elden Ring, Wukong is right up your alley.

Best Walking Simulator: Still Wakes The Deep

A Game Pass gem, Still Wakes The Deep tells the story of a Scottish oil rig that's dug too deep, unleashing a cosmic horror that turns humans into monsters resembling the beast in John Carpenter's The Thing. Much has been made of Unreal Engine 5's graphical horsepower, as well as its performance issues, but Still Wakes The Deep looks great and also runs without any stuttering. It's short, and gameplay consists of quicktime event platforming, light exploration, and hiding from monsters that can instantly kill you. It's not as visually impressive as Hellblade 2 (another Game Pass walking simulator) but its story is more compelling, focusing on themes of sacrifice, hope, and dealing with your demons. A definite treat for horror fans, Still Wakes the Deep is worth playing through its six or so hours.

Best Remaster: Tomb Raider 1-3

The first three Tomb Raider games are puzzle/platformers that have their warts. Tank controls take getting used to, and even after you've mastered them, Lara will still die often because you've accidentally stepped off a ledge or mistimed a jump. Still, the puzzles and exploration are great, even if the combat isn't. Lara is basically a sexy mishmash of James Bond and Indiana Jones, and although the reboot trilogy is good, it doesn't quite capture the tone or replicate the unique gameplay of the original three games. The remaster updates the graphics while keeping the level design the same, making it the best way to play on console and modern hardware. Honorable mention goes out to Dark Forces: Remastered, which is also very well done, yet lacks the value of Tomb Raider (I've already spent 46 hours beating just Tomb Raider 1 and making most of my way through Tomb Raider 2, while TR 3 and the expansion packs await).

Best Indie: Neon White

Unlike the other games on this list, Neon White was released in 2022, not 2024. Another Game Pass title, it's a speed-running, first-person shooter/platformer, with dating sim elements in-between missions. You play as a Neon, a damned soul plucked from the abyss by Heaven to cleanse the beyond of its demon problem. Along the way, you'll have to reconstruct your past relationships with your fellow Neons and discover the truth about what's happened to Heaven. There are some anime tropes, but the animation is good, and I actually enjoyed the plot, despite some cringey beats. Gameplaywise, I was so taken with Neon White's speedrunning that I replayed all the levels in order to find all the secrets and get the fastest time. Probably my runner-up for single player game of the year.

Best Multiplayer Game/Best Game of the Year: Helldivers 2

Unlike some of my friend group, I haven't played 1000 hours of Helldivers 2. I have, however, spent over 140 hours in game, and its various complexities and team-focused gameplay have kept it compelling long after the initial shine has worn off. Developers Arrowhead have constantly added content, from new Warbonds (mini battle passes that you can spend in-game currency on) to new enemies and factions, and it's hard to believe that this game was only released this year. Sure, there have been some bumps in the road, but it seems as though Arrowhead has finally embraced the community's vision for the game, and the result has been a large, loyal community that's one of the better in online gaming. Helldivers 2 is pretty much the perfect game to spend an hour or two with your buddies killing Terminids (giant insect aliens similar to the bugs from Starship Troopers) or Automatons (Terminator-like cyborgs). The ability to call in powerful stratagems like the 380 mm Walking Barrage or Eagle 500 kg transform the battlefield into a chaotic storm of fire and bombast. Add in the literally hundreds of loadout combinations you can choose, from weapons like the Autocannon to accessories like a shield backpack or a guarddog rover, and you have a multiplayer horde shooter that you can really sink your teeth into.

Some Thoughts on Tomb Raider 2

 

I actually liked the Opera House.

The OG Tomb Raider is a classic and by far and away the best of the original trilogy. Having played Tomb Raider 3 back in the day, I knew how hard it was, and that its difficulty was controversial at the time (one reviewer claimed that it seemed like the game had been designed to sell the strategy guide). Tomb Raider 2, I'd missed, and after enjoying Tomb Raider, I went on to the next game. Right from the start, the Great Wall of China level tries to kill you with trap after trap, demanding instantaneous reactions, lest you end up pinned to a spiked wall or sliced to bits from a giant rotating blade. "Ah, so they upped the ante and assumed you'd played the first game," I thought. "I'm up to the challenge." Several hours later, however, after having plodded through the Wreck of the Maria Doria levels, I'm not sure that I am. The problem is that Core seems to have thought what Tomb Raider 2 needed was more combat, perhaps in response to the popularity of Resident Evil. So they filled the levels with human enemies that can tank several bullets and who have unflinching accuracy that no amount of gymnastic maneuvering can escape. I started entering rooms with my Uzis drawn, just so I had a fighting chance. A majority of the traps, of which there are a ton, have no environmental clue as to what triggers them. You can slide down a slope and fall into a pit of spikes, and the only way you could have avoided such a fate was to slide down the slope backwards. This is Dark Souls, but with puzzles, traps, and unfair enemy placement. What makes Tomb Raider 2 even worse is its bad section of middle levels. Who the fuck wants to explore an oil rig, especially when said rig is just a winding collection of corridors? The concept of the undersea levels is really cool, but every level is a maze of rust and flooded sections full of sharks and giant eels that are unresponsive to any harpoons you manage to embed in their flesh. While it is certainly impressive that they managed to churn out a full sequel to Tomb Raider in only a year, the rushed development shows. Despite adding vehicles, more varied levels, and more weapons, Tomb Raider 2 is a slog, at least so far. I'm really yearning for the China and Tibet levels, which are supposed to be its best. I know Tomb Raider 3 is hard, but at least Lara visits interesting locations for its entire run time. 

The photo mode is freaking cool, though.

Writer's Block: A Poem For Luigi Mangione

 

Luigi was very handsome.

He looked like the kind of guy

Who could weave amongst a flock of girls

And tell them how he was the choice of the room;

The crème de la crème,

A tall cool glass of water,

The big cheese.

But he wrapped a hood around his head like a bag

And shot a man he didn’t know in the back

Like he was judge, jury, and executioner.

When you shoot a man

Make sure you look him in the eye

Otherwise, how can you see his soul

Leaving his body and reckon

with what you have done?

Were we finding our voice

With a murder in the street?

Or were we lashing out

Like a toddler unsure of what he wants to hit?

I dunno about you

but I don’t care about all that.

A myth is a story that we create and believe

Even when our eyes tell us

That we aren’t seeing the truth.

 

Prison isn’t where you should be, Luigi

But you’re not God.

Let’s not all lose hope.

Some Thoughts about an Assassination

 

A deranged man named Luigi Mangione (can you get any more Italian?) shot United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson and the internet is thrilled, with the sentiment ranging from "good" to "let's kill them all." That was the consensus on Reddit in right (r/Conservative) and left-leaning (r/Politics) circles, as well as the comments at Defector, which lean very liberal. It seems that people believe Mangione did something heroic in murdering a man by shooting him in the back with a 3D-printed pistol and then making a quick get-away by E-Bike. After evading capture for a couple days, Mangione was apprehended in a McDonalds with the gun and a manifesto on his person, more or less ending speculation that he was some sort of criminal genius. The myth of him as a working class hero was also dispelled; turns out that Mangione was part of a wealthy Baltimore family that possessed a multi-million dollar real estate empire, and he attended the University of Pennsylvania. Still, the hero worship has not ended--Mangione was revealed to be very handsome--and I don't really see any signs of public sentiment souring on the killer.

I'm not claiming to have any special sympathy for Thompson, or the CEOs of predatory businesses like healthcare companies. I don't think that's a job you can do with a clean conscience, not when so many people are denied life-saving care that they've paid for. Still, is vigilante justice what we need? Do we really want more people like Mangione executing people in the street for perceived crimes? Thompson may have been a piece of shit, but was he doing anything illegal? When people support Mangione, they're advocating for anarchy and mob justice. I don't know if you're familiar with the French Revolution and the Reign of Terror, but it didn't turn out great for the common people.

The sad irony of people supporting Mangione is that America just elected Donald Trump to the Presidency, with Republicans winning both chambers of Congress. During his first term, Trump's efforts to repeal the Affordable Care Act failed in the Senate by one vote, and the Senator who cast that decisive vote is now deceased. Americans are obviously very angry about their health coverage in this country, but they seem unable to connect the dots and figure out the source of the problem. Trump's new government efficiency czars (twin billionaire sociopaths Musk and Ramaswamy) are planning to advocate cuts to Medicare, although that might be dead on arrival. Biden's Inflation Reduction Act capped drug prices, and a Harris administration was planning on shoring up the ACA, decreasing drug prices, and tackling medical debt. None of that stuff was a sexy as deporting illegal immigrants or doing random fascist stuff, though, and now Americans will have to prepare for an incoming administration that will almost certainly work toward making their healthcare worse.

New Music: A Song For America

 

Maybe the best song I've ever written? It pretty much sums up all of my feelings about this country at this very moment. I wear my best Dylan hat, with perhaps a bit of Elliott Smith's aesthetics, whatever the fuck that means. Considering that I wrote it in about fifteen minutes, I'm pretty proud of A Song For America. 

Lyrics below:

Well the blowjob queen of Texas

And the podcast king of dirt

Ran off from the Valley

Forget all the lives they hurt

They were trying to find the heart

so they could stab it through the chest

Leaving little pieces 

So we could do the rest

I had twenty whole dollars

And a bucket full of chum

I had to feed the sharks 

But I needed a bigger gun

I was shooting in the movies, 

I was shooting in the breeze

I was shooting anything that moves

Anything that needs

Pour another shot of whiskey into a cold glass

Throw it over your shoulder as you drink into the past

You can drink and drive but you can’t bring back a soul

That you threw off and away

He was in the Oval office

He was in your neighbor Bob

He was in the cryptodollar

That you stole from the Mob

The grift, the lie, the cheat

You can’t hide it all away

We will have to pay up

 in some dark loathsome way

There are fewer and fewer children

But more and more of the old

The future’s warming up

While the history is sold

You can stare into your phone

You can stare into the abyss

But nothing’s looking back, 

nothing you can kiss

Pour another shot of whiskey into a cold glass

Throw it over your shoulder as you drink into the past

You can drink and drive but you can’t bring back a soul

That you threw off and away

The sickness it starts spreading

When you’re almost middle-aged

You see that time will not forget

Your father or your name

The places you have known

Are dungeons full of fog

The people you remember

are shadows stretched too long

The eyes of a child 

are the windows to a hole

You can fill up a person 

with consumer graded hope

There is more to life than money

There is more to life than fame

There is more to life than dopamine

 drip fed into our veins

Pour another shot of whiskey into a cold glass

Throw it over your shoulder as you drink into the past

You can drink and drive but you can’t bring back a soul

That you threw off and away

Video Game Review: Tomb Raider 1-3 Remastered

 

Tomb Raider Remastered is a gorgeous game.

It's somewhere between 1996 and 1997, and I'm wandering a pitch-black coliseum, trying to figure out where to go next. The sense of isolation is palatable; here there is only the darkness, man-eating lions, and crumbling ruins. Can I make that jump? Are there spikes at the bottom of the pit? Does this switch release homicidal gorillas along with opening a door? These are the choice of the OG Tomb Raider, a game that I was not prepared to beat back in my preteen days, with a probable ADHD brain. Technical troubles also marred the experience--I remember a looping sound bug, along with a crash after fighting one of the end-game bosses in Atlantis. Early PC gaming was pretty fickle when it came to operating systems and sound drivers. Having just replayed about 75 percent of Tomb Raider Remastered, and having dabbled a bit with Tomb Raider 2, I have to report that these games are just delightful and have aged like fine wine. The first three Core Design Tomb Raider games were 3D grid-based platformers with tank controls. Puzzles formed a large part of the gameplay, and some of that puzzling was figuring out the level design. The shooting mechanics were not complex, and were frankly the least-interesting element of play. Taking your time to line Lara up, measuring the distance out in squares, and then taking that ridiculous leap (seriously, Lara has like a world record long jump as well as vertical) forms the essence of Tomb Raider. Well, that and battling the controls.

Tomb Raider Remastered sports remastered graphics along with support for modern over the shoulder third person controls. The tank controls feel terrible for about the first thirty minutes, but after that you quickly adjust and you realize that they are really the only option, since the game was designed around them. It's just so much easier to line up those jumps, and the camera, your constant enemy, is sometimes even worse with the modern scheme. Every one of Lara's movements has to be considered, which isn't something normal in modern games, but it gets you thinking about how novel moving around in a 3D space was in 1996. Exploration was part of the pitch, but unlike Dark Forces Remastered, Tomb Raider has much better level design. In fact, I'd say I've had as much fun exploring Peru, Greece, and Egypt as I've had in any other game in recent memory. There's no objective arrow, or even a checklist telling you what to do. Now I'm not saying that I didn't miss a switch or get lost in Greece's infamous Cistern level. But the sprawling labyrinths fit the setting, and a key hunt (especially when the key is the Eye of Horus or some other artifact) just makes more sense in Tomb Raider as opposed to your 90's shooter.

However, despite loving this collection, I don't know if I'd recommend it to your average gamer. Tomb Raider is pretty fucking hard, and TR2 and TR3 are even harder, to the point where I might consider them to be some of the hardest games of their generation. The first game ramps up the difficulty pretty gradually, with the Peruvian levels being pretty straight forward, and the Greek ones just a bit harder. Still, you'll likely consult a walkthrough if you've never played these games (I actually have the official Prima Strategy guide from back in the day, and I consulted it for secrets). For the more intrepid among us, I really recommend checking these games out. They're really like nothing around today, and they're an incredible amount of fun.

Still in pretty good condition, unlike my Tomb Raider 3 guide.

Albums That Made Me: Heart On

 

I saw the Eagles of Death Metal in the Madison Theater in Cincinnati sometime around 2008. I was with my girlfriend, who is now my wife, and singer Jesse Hughes had a sore throat, but by damn, they put on a good, incredibly loud show. Heart On is filled with riff-heavy, 70's influenced boogie rock. Songs like "Anything But The Truth" and "Wannabe In L.A." have a Stonesy groove to them, while "(I Used To Couldn't Dance) Tight Pants" and "Prissy Prancing" remind me of ZZ Top. Even the one moment of sincerity "Now I'm A Fool" feels like Hughes is keeping his tongue firmly in cheek. This is a fun, danceable album, and it's a shame that it's sort of forgotten, at least, as far as I can tell. It was constantly in my iPod playlist circa 2008-2009, and having given it several relistens recently, it's damn near perfect. Bring back rock 'n' roll, people! Listen to Heart On and discover its many virtues.