This is a shoot, as they say in the wrestling business. I'm not speaking as the Goon, or the Esteemed Critic, or any of my other characters. This is me, *********, working stiff, hack writer, family man. I'm writing because I've seen and heard a lot of people commenting that there is no real difference between the two presidential candidates in that they'll both be bad news for our country. That's a load of shit, honestly. Let me explain why.
Look, I understand why a lot of people don't want to vote for Hillary Clinton. If you're a liberal, she's basically been a moderate Republican her entire career. If you're a conservative, well, she's a Democrat that believes in abortion and gun legislation, and blah, blah, blah. There's also the fact that the Clintons seem to be perpetually embroiled in scandal. We have Benghazi, the private email server, the cigar Bill lied about inserting in a White House intern. There's the Clinton Foundation and the speech to Goldman Sachs. She's an establishment figure, part of the machine. She's also a woman in politics, which rubs a lot of stupid people the wrong way, even if they won't admit it. She voted for the Iraq war. She's not the best speaker. The list goes on.
But can you honestly tell me that she's as bad as Donald Trump? The guy who's demonized illegal immigrants as rapists and criminals? Who questioned whether a federal judge should be allowed to keep his job because his family was born in Mexico? The guy who said that he'd pay the legal fines of any of his supporters who get thrown in jail for beating protesters? Who thinks that an entire religious group should be banned from entering the country? Who retweets white supremacists? Hey, his speech at the RNC was endorsed by former KKK head David Duke. These are his people, is what I'm saying. His constituency.
Well hell, maybe you don't care about all of that. Maybe the bigoted stuff doesn't bother you for some reason. Let's consider the temperament of the man. You can bait him with a tweet into saying something offensive. During the RNC, he sat the Ohio delegates in the nose-bleed section because they didn't vote for him. If you ask him to actually explain himself, he takes it personally, especially if you're a woman. Ask Megyn Kelly, who apparently has blood coming out of her whatever. He's so goddamn insecure, he responds to every insult. Point out the small size of his hands or the fact that he's not really a billionaire and watch out.
And then there's the myth of Trump the businessman. He says he'll run government like a business, whatever that means. Does he think the purpose of government is to make money? I thought the purpose of government was to govern. This is a man who was a millionaire at birth. This is a man whose corporations have declared bankruptcy four times. A man who has dodged paying his taxes and his employees and who refuses to release his tax returns because, guess what, he's not a goddamn billionaire.
So on what basis is Donald Trump qualified to become president? He's a racist xenophobe who holds democratic principles in clear contempt (he has a weird admiration for Vladimir Putin, who's a goddamn supervillain). He's a loose cannon who's called on Russia to hack his opponent. He's a shitty businessman and has never held public office.
Clinton, for all of her faults, is none of those things. She's been First Lady, a senator, and Secretary of State. You can't argue that she's not qualified to be President.
And now for the matter of principles. If you're a die-hard Bernie Bro, I can see you not wanting to vote for Clinton. If you're a Reagan Republican, you can't vote for Trump. If you hate both Parties and are considering a third Party or an independent, then I understand. But there's a time for principles and a time for practicality. If there was an election for Prime Minister of Hell, and you had to choose between Richard Nixon and Adolf Hitler, well, shit, you'd have to vote for Nixon, right? The danger of Hitler outweighs the odiousness of Nixon.
So that's why I'm voting for Clinton in November.
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