Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Wrestlemania Predictions


Boy, what a lackluster build to Wrestlemania it has been this year. With superstars like John Cena, Seth Rollins, Randy Orton, and Cesaro injured, you almost can't blame them. Well, except they've had plenty of time to build new superstars; all of the aforementioned have been out for months. To be fair, AJ Styles and Dean Ambrose are getting there. Roman Reigns, however, is not, and that doesn't bode well for the E, considering the man that they want to be their top face is getting booed like he just murdered a basketful of babies on live TV. The entire product has suffered as most of the roster has been fed to Roman, including Sheamus, Rusev, Del Rio, Barrett, the Wyatts, the Dundleys, the Miz, and the Social Outcasts (notice anything? That's every single heel on the roster besides the recently-turned Ryback and Kevin Owens). That's why Triple H is our WWE World Heavyweight Champion in 2016. They really have nobody else with any credibility.

The card itself looks good, it's just most of the stories building up to it have sucked. Let's look at the important matches and try to predict what's going to happen.

Reigns vs. Triple H: There's no way Roman doesn't win. They've been pushing the guy for three years and this time there's no way out of it. I think this will be a good match, with two performers that can go in the ring, however there's no way they're avoiding a massive chorus of boos unless Roman turns heel, which I can't see. Vince, surely you can see that there's a goldmine in all that heat. It would be a waste to ignore it. Pick-Roman.

Ambrose vs. Lesnar: There will be shenanigans. The big fat Wyatts will probably interfere. I just hope they are disposed of quickly or Mick Foley runs in and chokes out Bray with Sock-o, so that Dean can go over Brock without their help. Pick-Dean.

Shane vs. Undertaker: Shane? I mean, who knows with this bat-shit insane feud. I still don't know why the Undertaker is doing Vince's bidding. Plus, Vince's threat to retire Taker if he loses makes no sense because Shane is supposed to have control of the company if he wins, so he could reinstate Taker if he wanted to. I think this will be a glorious trainwreck full of crippled old men and hard bumps. I guess Shane will win, but I don't know what that means for the WWE. Pick-Shane.

Divas Triple Threat: Sasha. Sometimes, they know when to push a performer, and Sasha is the most over of the three. I would like Becky to win since she's been feuding with Charlotte for longer, but her babyface character comes off as too gullible to succeed. Pick-Sasha Banks.

The match no one wanted to see.

AJ Styles vs. Jericho: Styles, duh. Jericho has done his best to put Styles over; that's why he's a pro, and I really love heel-Jericho. Still, this feud is getting stale. Likely an entertaining match nonetheless. Pick-Styles.

Intercontinental Ladder Match: I'm going with Sami Zayn. He's got a lot of love with the crowd from NXT, and I think he'll feud with Kevin Owens for most of the year. Pick-Zayn.

Oh wait, are there other matches? Ryback vs. Kalisto for the US Belt? New Day vs. the League of Jobbers? New Day's entrance will be glorious, I'm sure. And we have the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, which Braun Strowman is rumored to win. That'll put butts in the seats. Well, those are my picks. Let's hope Mania is better than the piss-poor buildup its received.

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