- The Diary of Mitch R. Singer
- Hanging with the Goon
- The Consummate Politician Apologizes
- Rating the WWE's Roster by Their Stench
- The Esteemed Critic's Multiple Sentence Reviews
- Conan Brothers' Q&A
- Theme Park Mistress
- Hillsdale Paranormal Society
- Writer's Block
- Select Farmers Only Profiles
Monday, December 21, 2015
Additional Things You Notice After a Second Viewing of Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Here are all the additional things you notice on a second viewing of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
You notice that Harrison Ford films all of his scenes from the waist up, because he refused to wear pants during filming.
You notice that Chewbacca has a heart tattoo around his biceps that says "Priscilla."
You see J.J. Abrams in the bar scene sniffing a huge pair of alien panties.
Daniel Craig makes a cameo as James Bond in the middle of a blaster battle. Don't know how I missed this the first time.
Luke Skywalker is actually present the entire movie, he just walks around in the background with a box over his head, holding a sign that says "Don't look at me, I'm hideous!"
Darth Vader appears as a tiny force ghost that sits on Kylo Ren's shoulder in some scenes, just for a second. You can't hear what he's saying, but I bet it is bad stuff.
You notice that Snoke is a hologram and probably not thirty feet tall.
You notice that the children in front of you behaved worse on a second viewing, and now you're going to have to do something about it.
I saw Satanic messages flash in between frames every so often. Didn't notice that happening as much during my first viewing.
Han Solo whispers something to Princess Leia about still having the metal bikini. Maybe I made this one up, not sure.
Lando Calrissian is actually in the movie, he's just played by another black guy called Finn.
I'm pretty sure I saw George Lucas in the theater. He was crying and repeating "It's supposed to rhyme, like poetry!" over and over again. Might have been a hallucination.
Didn't notice that Luke mouths "My baby girl!" in that last scene with Rey.
Noticed that I smell really bad and need to take a shower. Still haven't gotten on that.
Jar Jar Binks looks a lot different in this film. Missed him the first time.
I saw money spilling out of the movie screen, like billions of dollars, billions of dollars. I know that didn't happen the first time. Or maybe it did.