Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Perez Hilton Presents the Sexiest Old Men in Hollywood

Is everybody fabulous right now? Jesus, I hope so. Without further ado, let's get into the hottest old sacks of meat still flapping around Hollywood.

Danny Devito

Christ, Danny's still looking good. I bet he could still fit into his penguin suit from Batman Returns. I wonder what he's eating? One-hundred percent organic grass fed beef, that's what I'd guess. If he keeps aging like this, somebody will have to shoot him. It's just not fair! Jesus.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Look at them man-boobies! Don't you just want to reach out and touch them? Bodybuilders age like old sacks of lard, but Arnold still has it. Watch out, Latino nannies! You'll get pregnant by osmosis if you get anywhere close to this former Mr. Universe! Christ Almighty!

Sly Stallone

The Italian Stallion, am I rite? Sly looks like he just crawled out of the wet placenta of a mastodon (HE LOOKS GOOD). Nice tats, by the way. I'd like to do my laundry on those abs.

Steven Tyler

Sweet emoticon! And I thought Arnold's moobs were nice. That's more than a mouthful, right boys? I see where Liv gets her rack.

James Franco's Ass

Jimmy ain't old, but his ass has sure taken a pounding! We obtained this shot from a secret source (Seth Rogan!). Amazing how he crams all of that into those tight pants! JESUS!

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