Thursday, July 24, 2014

UFO Bob Reveals the Truth

The truth is out there, and Obama is a reptile.

The world is a shadow place operated by creatures we can't even comprehend. They walk among us, own businesses, determine policy, and prey on our children. They are human-reptilian hybrids from the Alpha-Draconis star system (funny how we named their home system Draconis, isn't it?) and they're watching you for any sign you're on to them. I'm in a secret bunker located in a vast wilderness, my internet provided by satellite connection, surrounded by guns and provisions. They won't take me alive, no sir, not UFO Bob. You see, I've been in on the whole insidious plot from the beginning.

Once I was a high-ranking government employee working for the United States Post Office. You think that we deliver mail? Hah, think again, buddy. There really is no junk mail. Microscopic spy cameras are inserted ino your so-called junk mail by a little reptilian dwarf. He went by Frank in my post office. I remember how he used to scarf down a whole box of donuts in less than a minute. There was something inhuman about him, obviously, but the sheeple I worked with either refused to see it or were in league with him. He drank some red-colored liquid every morning that I'm sure was blood, and he farted non-stop while he was casing mail, and the gas that oozed out of that diminutive creature's orifice was out of this world. I really think he tried to poison me; in fact, that was one of the reasons I quit. Now I receive all of my mail at a false address, and I have a trusted source burn it (thanks, Randy). I advise you all to do the same.

Have you noticed how television is basically inundated with programing focusing on the paranormal? Have you ever seen an episode about the reptilians? No? Why do you think that is? They want you to focus on Bigfoot and spooks in the attic rather than the truth. Why do you think the X-Files got cancelled? They touched a nerve, that's why. That, and David Duchovny is a reptilian who ate Chris Carter's brain and replaced it with a reptile one.
He's not fooling anyone with that inhuman expression.

But all hope is not lost. There are souls out there risking their lives to expose the truth. Just today I was contacted by three young men from a rural paranormal society wanting to know what they can do to help. I told them to watch, record, and wait. When we get the footage and put it on the net, everyone will know, and then the war will start. Make note of suspected reptilians in your communities. They will be among the rich, the successful, the powerful. They cannot lie about being lizard people, keep that in mind. But if you ask too many they'll throw you in jail. Been there, done that. Rookie mistake. That's why I'm hiding now, that and the fact that I owe the IRS one-hundred thousand dollars.

Watch, record, and wait. Beware the lizard peoples' taste for human flesh. Burn your mail. Don't pay your taxes. Look to the skies.

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