Look, bear with me, people. I'm learning the lingo, so I might get a few terms confused. The collective genius of the internet has reveal to me that I might in fact be a Beta-Male cuck. I should be thankful, apparently, because at least I'm not a virgin, because if I was, I'd be one for life. Let me explain my situation, and you be the judge.
My wife, who is a nine out of ten Stacy, has been making a cuck out of me for a while. While I'm keeping the house safe by playing hours and hours of Destiny 2, she's out there looking for a nice Chad to take my place. I give this Stacy years of my life and produce two children, and what thanks do I get? She leaves me for not a Chad, but a Tyrone! This Tyrone, whose name is actually Tyrone, is a personal trainer who owns his own business. Pretty soon my children are going to be calling him Dad and I'll be regulated to the literal doghouse, since my wife pays most of the mortgage. I don't know what the fuck to do. I guess I ought to just give up on life, because I'm currently jobless, and there's no way I can obtain a new Stacy without a decent amount of income. Hello, Reddit. I'm ready to take the Red Pill and have my eyes opened.
Okay, so Reddit is in disagreement about what options I have. The Incels think that I just got lucky and that I can never get laid again, whereas the Pickup Artists say I need to make myself into the most manly man that ever manned. I posted a picture on the Incel thread and they said my jawline was too soft, and that I'll never be a Chad. The Pickup guys said that I just need to change my shirt and start acting like Marky-Mark circa 1990 and I'll be drowning in poon. What the hell am I going to do? The part of me that's depressed wants to wallow in the mud like a wounded buffalo, and the Incels are good company for that. But they will never accept me because I once possessed a Stacy. Therefore, I need to turn myself into a Chad but that's more effort than I'm willing to put forth right now. Jesus, when did the world become so complicated?
I saw my Stacy yesterday with her Tyrone. They were sitting at a coffee shop staring at their phones. My ex-Stacy kept posing for Instagram shots. Tyrone was flexing his muscles and scanning around the shop, looking for another Stacy to add to his harem. I had to leave eventually because the garbage can I was hiding behind tipped over, and everyone starting pointing and laughing because there I was, a Beta-Male cuck, covered in garbage, exposed. I went back home and looked on the internet for more guidance.
Sometimes I think that maybe it was my fault that my wife left me. Perhaps my constant video game playing and refusal to find another job alienated her, and she did what she had to do. When I think like this, Reddit always sets me straight. There are Chads and Stacys, Incels and Beta-Male cucks. There is no choice in the matter. Our statuses are set in stone.
Fuck you, Tyrone. You goddamn handsome bastard.
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