Halloween is a spooky day and there's often not enough time to do all the spooky things that you want to do. So here's a list of a bunch of spooky things you can do the next day. I swear, November 1st is almost as spooky as Halloween. Trust me. I know spooky.
1. Put out the Halloween candy you forgot to put out, but this time for the raccoons.
2. Wear the remnants of your costume in your living room, naked, while you eat whatever candy the raccoons left.
3. Watch a spooky movie like Twins or Robocop.
4. Scour your hard drive for a spooky game and then never get around to installing it.
5. Read H.P. Lovecraft and then wonder why he had to be so goddamn racist.
6. Spend the day checking the polls at Five Thirty Eight for mathematical reassurance that the 2018 election will not suck as much as the 2016 election.
7. Eat a bunch of eggs that you painted orange.
8. Take a wad of candy corn and toss it in the middle of the road and watch it for as long as it gives you pleasure.
9. Read a Harry Potter book and wonder why nobody ever strangled Ron.
10. Grab a guitar and play a spooky song, like Thriller or Monster Mash.
11. Try futilely to remember the name of that monster-themed side-scroller that you played as a child, the one that came in the shareware collection that also featured the skiing game with the abominable snowman and Commander Keen.
12. Contemplate whether Bulksgiving is a better holiday than Halloween.
13. Watch an episode of Sesame Street and debate whether Elmo will grow fangs and claws like most monsters.
14. Spend an hour on the toilet trying to clear the blockage in your intestines due to excessive Halloween candy consumption.
15. Dress your dog up as a bat and then laugh at said dog.
16. Try to think of the last time you approached a holiday with the pure, unadulterated joy of a child.
17. Watch that one Stephen King adaptation about cat aliens. You know the one. Once you've seen it, you can't unsee it.
18. Put a pumpkin in the road and watch how long it takes someone to hit it.
19. Make a special Halloween punch of orange juice, chocolate, candy corn, and Jameson. It takes so bad that it's spooky!
20. Write a shitty blog post on your shitty blog and then laugh about how damn funny you are.
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