Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Hanging with the Goon

It looks liek teh crop is gonna be bad wit teh bad wether, folks.

Well peoples, us apple farmers gots some bad news bout teh apple business: bloom is bout to start in March! All of teh warm weather gots teh buds movin liek there Michael Jackson and theres a dance floor full of youngins gyrating about. Speaking of which, I herd taht Milo Younoppolis isn't allowed to speak fer teh President anymore on Bretfart 'cause he might be a diddler, wich we all should've guessed, I guess. Sometimes, when Hernando ain't wit me, on teh weigh to teh farmers markets I listen to NPR and get all teh liberal news from teh ghost of Dianie Reem.I know teh President says it is fake news but he has a fake brain taht is full of worms or so says teh afourmentioed ghost of Dianie Reem. Waht I wanna know is waht is this country comin' to? Used to be we argued bout gas milage and weather or not teh GMO apples are going to give you supracancer or whatever. It is most unfortunate taht teh libtard and conservative branchs of our country are so divided. HOws can wes stand togeter when der is so much hate? I blaem it on teh Cu Cucks Clan, of which Uncle Thom is a member. As a general rule, if Uncle THom is part of somethin', then it ain't no goode. Thom says taht Steven Bannon is teh new Grand Wizard in Chief an he's buttbuddies wit teh President, so tahts why everythin' sucks, or so I am told. I dont know. I just do what I'm told.

I hasn't talked too much bout teh family as of late. Unfortunately, SLack is back in jail fer sellin' a midget too much heron. I guess its worse if its a little person or a child; don't know how taht works, to be honest. They sent 'em to county, which is convienent cuz Willy is tehre too, just a cell block down from 'em. Now I can see both of my kinsmen in one convienent trip! They were tryin to get me to hide drugs in me arsehole, but I told 'em thaht teh GOon is on teh straight an narrow and tehy weren't gonna get me involved in thair hair-brained schemes. Now tehy wont talk to me unless I get up some females fere cogenital visits. I put an aid out on facebooks, but no ones responded, wich is a shame. Some time life only deals you aces, an other times it deals you poo-poo. Ol' Sam talks bout self-reliance and how teh federal government is supporting Welfare Queens and Transexual Transvestites from Transulvania. He gives me teh evil eye whenever I talk bout teh misfortunes of me family. I tell 'em it aint thair fault cuz tehy was born under a bad sign an me maw was under teh impression at teh time taht abortion was illegal, wich it aint, at least not yet. Sam responds taht I am soundin' more an more liek a libtard apologist. Who knows? Maybe I am becomin' a hippe hipster. Maybe it wont be so bad.

I found this photo in Uncle Thom's collection. Taht sure is an ugly woman.


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