Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Conan Brothers' Q&A


CMDunk asks "I know you guys are WWE fans. How do you think they're doing with the brand split?

Dave: I dunno. I only watch wrestling when I'm high, and I can't remember shit.

Arnold: Smackdown has been the shit. Raw has been interesting, at least, but you can still tell that Vince makes the decisions. Despite having all that talent, Raw still manages to tell incoherent, illogical stories, where Smackdown does the opposite. Smackdown actually has me caring about the Miz and Dolph Ziggler; Raw has me bored with Sasha Banks, Charlotte, and Bailey.

Dave: I didn't think they had the talent to split the brands, but the split made it obvious that talent isn't their problem. It's the McMahons.

Arnold: Shane hasn't worn out his welcome yet. Although they seem to be building to a Brock Lesnar vs. Shane match...

Dave: Brock Lesnar verses anyone at this point is a snore. I can't believe they let him murder Randy Orton on stage.

Arnold: Vince is terrified of Brock. I figure most people are, but you'd think a billionaire wouldn't be.

Dave: Billionaires are people, Arnold. Just like the rest of us.

...

DrumpFerFuhrer asks "What do you think of the conspiracy to hide Hillary Clinton's health problems? Liberal media is at work again to take away our freedoms."

Dave: There's a liberal conspiracy to make me insane. I can't handle all of this election crap.

Arnold: Dave hates the news. He'd rather live in ignorance.

Dave: I really would. I don't need to hear some moron try to make sense of Trump's nonsense. As far as Clinton's health, do you really think she's less healthy than Trump? Trump is fat as shit and his skin is the color of a dried hot dog. Neither of them is going to be winning the Crossfit games, for chrissakes.

Arnold: I get tired of the echo chambers and the disconnection from reality that they require. Like, the shit Trump's said would've buried Mitt Romney. You ask half of his supporters about his racist remarks and they're like "he didn't mean it." Oh really? So we're not supposed to believe the man at his word? Actually, that's a great idea, because he lies constantly.

Dave: They say the same thing about Clinton.

Arnold: Clinton is a typical politician. In a normal election cycle, I'd be against her. Trump is a walking piece of human detritus. I don't care how many people Hillary personally shot in Bengahzi or how many hookers Bill has hidden in his closet. Trump is a harbinger of destruction. You just can't tear the system down and start again. We have to live here, people.

Dave: Hear, hear!

...

GamerBoyz asks "Deus Ex: Mankind Divided. Play or not play?"

Dave: Play if you liked the last one.

Arnold: The story is complete shit, though. The main premise is that augmented people are now discriminated against and forced to live in ghettos, yet in the first game, only the rich could afford augs in the first place. Everyone speaks in cliches and Jensen is such a humorless douche. Human Revolution had some hanging plot threads, but it was interesting all the way through, whereas Mankind Divided has me lost at the start.

Dave: The fact that DLC is going to be available soon is a kick in the balls as well.

Arnold: Yeah, maybe the game should've included it at the start.

Dave: Still, the game plays better.

Arnold: It's still Deus Ex. Never has one man crawled through so many human-sized air vents in the name of truth and justice.

Dave: I'm playing as a hacker/stealth character. I haven't shot anyone with anything besides a tranquilizer rifle and a stun gun.

Arnold: Yeah, every time I'm in a fire fight, I die.

Dave: Just like in real life.
  

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