Monday, December 8, 2014

Conan Brothers Q&A

Arnold: So Dave, I got a screaming headache behind my left eye. Feels like there's a ton of pressure behind there. I think it may be a tumor.

Dave: Anything's possible.

Arnold: So if my replies to some of these queries are a little off, keep that in mind.

Dave: I'm sure no one will notice.

AnkleBiter69 asks "What's the deal with box squats? Are they any good? The only guys I see using them squat nowhere close to parallel."

Arnold: I like touch and go box squats. I don't know about sitting your ass down and getting back up box squats like the Westside guys do."

Dave: Those guys don't squat anywhere close to parallel. I mean, they're strong, obviously, but you can't really claim a 1000 pound squat when you're three inches high.

Arnold: You're just jealous.

Dave: I don't really give a shit.

Arnold: Touch and go box squats help me minimize my lateral hip shift, which is a tendency to favor one side while squatting. I squat very wide, probably slightly above parallel. When I squat without the box, I use a closer stance and I go much deeper. There's a carryover. It's almost like a paused squat.

Dave: Arnold likes them. I don't know.

FuckdaPolice asks "What's up with all the cops killing black guys?"

Dave: Why are you asking us this?

Arnold: We're authorities on everything, Dave. And the answer's obvious. Cops hate black people.

Dave: Cops are stupid. It's a shitty job, with shitty pay. Doesn't exactly attract the right people.

Arnold: Hey, don't go stereotyping. I used to know a cop who wouldn't give me a ticket when I was high and drunk while driving.

Dave: What a great guy.

Arnold: I'm just waiting for our fascist overlords to cut the bullshit and fully implement a police state.

Dave: Aren't we all?

Arnold: Then we can use our guns. America, fuck yeah!

                                                          Dude looks like Porky Pig.

ImFollowingNotStalking asks "How do I get a girlfriend? I don't got game."

Dave: Wear belly shirts, have huge muscles, and take shit from no one.

Arnold: Farting and pissing your pants works also. At least, it attracts the kind of women I like.

Dave: Who proceed to fart and piss all over Arnold.

Arnold: The bedroom is a goddamn warzone, Dave. It's all about who survives.

Dave: And that's enough for this week. 

No comments:

Post a Comment