Saturday, December 20, 2014

A Christmas Story: The Death of Horace

Horace was a bad bear. He was made entirely out of gummi, and he was given to a man who ate bear flesh. A group of bears is called a sleuth, did you know? This is Horace's story.

Here Horace is, his figure still intact. I gnawed most of his head off. He was delicious.

In this photograph, I have used a bread knife to saw off most of Horace's head. His cranium is holding on by a thin strand. How grotesque!

As required by the ritual, Horace has been decapitated. I shall place this head on my ramparts as a warning to any travelers.

I am not uncivilized, however. Note the care I have taken to carve Horace's flesh into nice, ragged chunks for ease of consumption.

I find gummi bear goes best with a soft red wine, as the flavors compliment each other.

Yet in the end I could not restrain my hunger.

Rest easy, Horace. I shall use every part of you, like the Indians and the buffalo.

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