Welcome to T-Town, brother! It's good to see a new face on the Nugenix Total-T! Remember to take your prayers and say your vitamins! It's high time you get off of your namby-pamby ass and see what all the fuss is about!
In T-Town we walk in the middle of the street and wave at all the couples co-washing their big-ass trucks while Doug Flutie throws missiles at any unaccompanied minors walking the sidewalks. If Big Frank comes your way, you smile and nod and make damn well sure you're taking your Nugenix Total-T, else Frank might have to make sure your ladies are satisfied. She'll like it too! She did last night, eh? And if she didn't, you call Frank, you hear?
With Nugenix Total-T, you'll stop having problems with tangled hoses and troublesome belly fat! Once again, your wife will remember that you have a penis and are semi-competent in its usages. No longer will she sigh and stare longingly out the window, hoping that Big Frank walks down the street. If she starts getting excited at Doug Flutie, then you know you're in trouble and better double, hell, triple that Total-T dosage.
Middle-age is a bitch, ain't it? It sure ain't in T-Town! In T-Town, we don't prey upon your insecurities. We fix them with Nugenix Total-T! Once again you can be that rowdy lad who participated in the burning of Woodstock 99! Turn back the clock to the time of Gears of War and beer pong and sloppy sex! Remember hangovers? Remember when they didn't feel like someone took an ice pick to your head and then shit in the big hole it carved out? Fix it all with Nugenix Total-T!
With Nugenix Total-T, one simple pill will make you grow hair on your dong again! It'll turn you into a chest-beating ape with a ranging boner and the sexual mores of a Tyrannosaurus! Never get old again with Nugenix Total-T! Ignore the irony of a Hall of Fame athlete with excellent genetics hocking an overpriced B12 supplement as a literal elixir of eternal youth.
Why the fuck was Doug Flutie in these commercials? He looks old as shit. Somebody better give him some Nugenix Total-T.
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