The Northman, from Robert Eggers, who also did The Witch, is a mostly successful attempt by an arthouse director to do a big-budget action movie. Of course, The Northman is a little too weird and brutal to be a modern day Braveheart; one of its best scenes features a man and a boy lapping up a hallucinogenic stew like wolves while a balding Willem Dafoe eggs them on. There are bizarre visions of Valkyries and Valhalla; a man gets his nose sliced off and children are locked in a building which is then set on fire during a later raid. So yeah, the 800s were no joke. Alexander Skarsgård is a compelling viking price set on revenge for the death of his father at the hands of his uncle. He is not a modern day hero, but a epic protagonist more like Achilles, and therefore somewhat harder to relate to, at least if viewing this movie through a contemporary lens. Like Hamlet without the introspection, Skarsgard's Amleth will stop at nothing to kill his uncle, culminating in an awesome battle surrounded by magma at the gates of Hel. It's a damn shame movies like this hardly ever get made anymore; The Northman cost 90 million dollars to make, and flopped at the box office. I guess the masses love their Marvel movies and recognizable franchises too much. Unfortunately, this results in a Critic who avoids the theater, despite loving the experience of watching a film on the big screen. Regardless of my bitching about the modern cinema, go see The Northman, preferably after indulging in mushrooms while wearing a wolf skin cape for the most authentic experience.
Come at me, bro.
Obi-wan Kenobi is the latest Star Wars series in the endless procession of Star Wars content. Anyone looking for something creative should look elsewhere, since the muddled reception of The Last Jedi killed the prospect of Disney ever letting a talented director get anywhere near Star Wars with carte blanche. Obi-wan is cheap-looking and poorly choreographed, resembling almost a fan film with some expensive CGI. Episode 4 is completely recycled from the Fallen Order video game, which is insane, considering Disney's everything is canon approach. Still, the cheapness is enduring, and Ewan McGregor is given a chance to do something with his character, as opposed to his facelessness in the prequel trilogy. Basically, Obi-wan follows the same arc as Luke did in the Last Jedi, except instead of a cop-out battle that pissed off fan boys, we are rewarded with a ridiculously overwrought Darth Vader fight that borders on the excessiveness of Revenge of the Sith. Of course there was no need for an Obi-wan show, yet it surely isn't the most awful Star Wars I've ever viewed, which counts for something, and my six year old did enjoy it. And that's about all I have to say about Obi-wan. It's purely filler entertainment, content meant to be viewed and never reflected upon again. If that sounds good to you, then check it out on Disney+.
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