Starting weight=197 lbs.
Ending weight=201 lbs.
Food consumed: Half-pound of turkey covered in gravy, several spoonfuls of mashed potatoes, half of a green bean casserole, one dinner roll, two Mad Tree Crisp Golden Ales, two Rhinegeist Dad Ales, one piece of cheese cake, one piece of apple pie, one peace of pumpkin pie with whipped cream, a quart of water, one small dog, half a stick of butter, a random container of mixed food, the rest of the whipped cream, half a quart of aged cider that smelled like cheese, a moldy apple, one banana and peel, a sock found under the couch with a significant amount of hair, a baby foot, a squirrel that got in my way and never lived to see another day, the sadness and idiot tears of half a nation (Tard Nation!), a pile of rocks (crunchy), a rat's nest, a book of twigs, my wife's diary, a history book, an old VCR, a couple of small persons rambling about the park after dark, screws that fell out of a minivan, a deer, another small dog (not as tasty as the first), a bushel of apples, an old bone found jutting out of the earth, a book of spells, a book of smells, the essence of evil, a crocodile heart, a shoe, Hunter Biden's laptop, Bungalow Bim, a pack of gum, some baseball cards, a sack of farts, and poop.
I think I have a stomach ache.
Estimated recovery time: Thanksgiving, 2021.
Gainz expected=infinite.
Happy bulksgiving, America.
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