- The Diary of Mitch R. Singer
- Hanging with the Goon
- The Consummate Politician Apologizes
- Rating the WWE's Roster by Their Stench
- The Esteemed Critic's Multiple Sentence Reviews
- Conan Brothers' Q&A
- Theme Park Mistress
- Hillsdale Paranormal Society
- Writer's Block
- Select Farmers Only Profiles
Thursday, March 23, 2017
How Dumb Do You Have to Be to Think the World Is Flat?
So Shaq believes that the world is flat. How dumb do you have to be to believe the world is flat? Pointless Venture will tell you exactly how dumb. If you think the world is flat, then he following statements are most certainly true about you.
You think Dumb and Dumber was based on your life.
You have an irrational fear of numbers, based on your difficulties with mental math.
Your proudest achievement was not shitting your pants after riding a roller coaster at King's Island.
The only book you've ever finished was The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Whenever anyone flips a light switch, you stare in amazement at the ceiling and praise the gods.
When you fart, you turn around in befuddlement and stare at your ass, wondering where that sound came from.
You forbade your children from reading Harry Potter because it involves sorcery.
Money is the most important thing in your life, provided there's something else to eat.
When your computer crashes, you pick it up and shake it, telling it to "straighten up."
You often wonder if there are worms in your brains.
You believe that Jesus rode a Triceratops and that it was the coolest thing ever.
You've been to a Nickelback concert at least twice.
You've sent a Nigerian Prince money because every email is true.
In the last Presidential Election, you either wrote in "Herbert Mountain Dew Camacho" or you voted for Trump.
You believe in aliens, voodoo economics, or bigfoot.
Brown is your favorite color.
You once drank a bottle of cologne after running out of alcohol and/or paint thinner.
The person you most admire in the world is Steve Harvey.
Your favorite movie is whatever is currently playing at the local cinema.
People call you "Stinks," or "Tiny Brains."
You think that Halo invented the first person shooter genre.
You've seen the movie Shazam! and/or starred in it.
Your name is Shaquille.