Thursday, April 25, 2024

Conan Brothers Q&A

 

RedditUser1324 asks "WTF am I even doing? I spend all my time consuming vapid content on social media platforms while my own creative ambitions remain unrealized. What am I doing with my life?"

Dave: It's like what they feared television would become.

Arnold: Televison was always limited by the amount of content. Nobody spent hours watching I Love Lucy. Even the good shit like Seinfeld only came on once a week, and by the time it was syndicated, you'd seen every episode. There were no algorithms computing what sort of nonsense you preferred to consume. There was no way to keep a television in your pocket.

Dave: We are aware of the great attention deficit scheme, yet we still have smartphones.

Arnold: I still go on Reddit, even though it's full of bullshit. The great irony is that they're using Reddit to train AI. I hope they're using all my shitposts.

Dave: Let's try to answer the question, Arnold.

Arnold: I suggest a phone fast, along with cutting off all social media. See how long you can go.

Dave: BUT IT'S MY LIFE.

Arnold: Is it? I've noticed that vapidly browsing Reddit increases my dissatisfaction, as well as my stress levels.

Dave: How many Am I The Asshole threads can you read before you definitively conclude that you are, in fact, the asshole?

Arnold: The poster is always the asshole because they're asking Reddit to be their morale compass, which is like asking Donald Trump to be your life coach.

Dave: Try to unplug, is what we're saying.

Arnold: Sure. We follow our own advice, don't we?

...

OldLifter38 asks "How do I keep hitting the weights while approaching middle-age? My joints ache and recovery seems to take forever."

Dave: What, you thought your ass would age like fine wine?

Arnold: My right rotator cuff is holding on by a thread. The last time I did some incline presses, my shoulder ached for four days and I had trouble sleeping. I don't do incline presses anymore.

Dave: Extra recovery days. I can't do a six day schedule anymore. I'm on a five day. Also, two of my days are very light, focusing on bodybuilding.

Arnold: Make sure you're getting enough sleep. If you have kids, that can be a problem. Your body repairs itself while you sleep.

Dave: We had to cut out the maxing every day shit.

Arnold: I'm not the biggest fan of 5/3/1, but as a nearly 40 year old lifter, I understand that deload on the fourth week now.

Dave: A deload every fourth week is part of our routine. You can't train like a twenty-year old anymore.

Arnold: That's a cold, hard fact.

...

Helldiver200 asks "You bros Helldiving tonight?"

Dave: I Helldive when I can.

Arnold: It's a great multiplayer game, but my god, is it still buggy. I got kicked from my last match right before extraction.

Dave: I wish there were more mission types.

Arnold: Yeah, after thirty or so hours in the game, you've seen everything it has to offer, and you probably have the better weapons and stratagems. Orbital Laser is my favorite.

Dave: Autocannon is the best gun. Hard, heavy, and fast. Only drawback is that it takes a while to reload.

Arnold: As long as my buddies are still playing, I'll still play.

Dave: Got to get that social time.


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