Batman and Robin: Impeachment

Batman prowls the rooftops, the embodiment of the night, a shadow on the move. He stops below an alleyway and watches two men talking. They are not of the Caucasian persuasion, and Batman's criminal detecting senses are tingling. In a second he is upon them, a massive presence looming out of the darkness. The men, who have been looking at their phones, gasp and turn to run. Thirty seconds later, they're out cold, Batman's fists having connected with their skulls.

"Degenerates," he says, as he ties their hands. He's just placed a call to Commissioner Gordon when another body lands in the alley. It is his former ward and estranged protegee, Robin, who has taken to calling himself Nightwing.

"What exactly is going on here?" asks Nightwing.

"Superhero business. Catching criminals," huffs the Batman.

"What were these men guilty of?"

"They looked suspicious," says Batman.

"You know Gordon just lets them go. Several of them are suing the police department. They say that you are an extension of corrupt policies."

"What do you mean 'they'?" asks the Batman.

"Oh, come on, Bruce. You're racially profiling. You are jumping down from the rooftops and beating up minorities with your bare fists without provocation! You are a terrorist! There's a Facebook page about you, you know."

"There's a Facebook page defending me.."

"Yes, I know, you've sent it to me. Most of the people commenting are Alt-Right weirdos at best. The other half are Neo-Nazis."

"Christ, do we have to go through this again? It's like the Impeachment debate. You're making a big deal out of nothing."

Nightwing throws his hands up in the air. He violently assaults a trashcan, swearing as he does so.

"What more does he have to do for you to abandon him! So it's okay for the President to ask a foreign government to investigate a political opponent?  It's fine for him to obstruct a Congressional investigation?"

"A witchhunt..." begins the Batman.

"Yes, yes, the President is the most unjustly persecuted man since Jesus Christ. You don't care that he never divested himself from his business, or that he used campaign funds to pay off an escort. You don't give a shit about the human rights abuses occurring at the border, or the military's transgender ban. It doesn't matter that he fired the FBI director for investigating him, or that he openly courts Russian involvement in our elections. Every baseless conspiracy theory retweeted is inconsequential. His unprofessional attitude, his clear ignorance, his disgusting narcissism, it's all a feature, not a bug. You might mumble something about federal justices or the tax cut, but it is racism and bigotry you're supporting. That's why you won't leave him. He's the embodiment of fuck-you politics. He's the ugly spawn of years of right-wing talk radio, Fox News, and intellectual decline. He's not the President we want. He's the President we deserve."

"You done?" asks the Batman, unperturbed by Nightwing's rant.

"What?" says Nightwing.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me lug these bodies into the Batmobile?"