Red Pill Steve "More Bannon than Bannon" Bannon On Masculinity

This is totally what I look like. Haters gonna hate.

Alright, cucks, this is Red Pill Steve, and I'll be writing a regular column on Pointless Venture in the interest of being fair and balanced and all that shit. If you want to know who I am, let it be known that I am the manliest man that ever manned, and I've banged like a million chicks, and I spend my days chopping down trees and logical fallacies perpetrated by the soy-fed masses, who will one day drive the human race to extinction with their complete devotion to pussyness and being pussy-whipped. Despite what my critics say, I never have and never will live in my mom's basement. In fact, I don't have a mom. Also, I'm not that Steven Bannon, though I'm basically the same guy and will someday be advisor to a President and have my own terrible web site (but not this one).

Now back in the day, before feminism took all the masculinity out of society, men were real men and not the slackjawed, boy-faced pseudo-males you see all around you talking about comic books and social justice. We used to get to wear suits and drink in the office like Don Draper, and nobody cared about offending anyone, and if you complimented a woman on her bust-size, she didn't immediately run to human resources claiming you were a sexual predator (thanks, Barbara) because that shit hadn't been invented yet. But beta-males were still about, and they've been around since the beginning of time. Let's take a look at some of history's biggest cucks so that we don't magically lose our balls and grow tits.

Thomas Jefferson: I mean, just look at the dude in the above picture. Does he not look like the kind of guy that spends his days defending anime and freedom of speech in games journalism? I guarantee if you asked him a question, he'd look at the ground and mumble incoherently. So he wrote the Declaration of Independence. Big fucking deal. We would've been better as a British Colony, because colonialism was the bomb, and who wouldn't want to have a king instead of a pussy president (with the exception of alpha-male Donald Trump)? Although I do give him points for sleeping with his slaves (it was consensual!) and not conceding to the PC warriors of his day. If you want a better founding father, then look to Aaron Burr. He at least was a man who shot people and tried to form his own crazy country. Or look to ultimate bro Ben Franklin for inspiration, who put bags over the heads of his ladies and did his business while wearing a coonskin cap and brandishing a lightning rod.

Socrates: Ok, I got to give him points for basically being naked. But notice the unkempt beard, which you know he grew to hide his feminine bone structure. As a philosopher, his whole point was "You can't know anything." What a fem-nazi cop out. I'll tell you what I do know, Socrates: you defiled young boys and corrupted the masculinity of the youth of Athens. That's why they killed him. He went out like a total pussy, too, by drinking hemlock instead of insisting upon mortal combat. Good riddance.You want a better philosopher? Try Nietzsche, but only read what r/The_Donald has to say about him, not any of his actual works. Also, try some Ayn Rand, but remember that she was a woman, and so not capable of complex thought.

FDR: FDR was responsible for the modern nanny state, which emasculates men by letting the weak survive. He was also crippled, and he hid that fact from voters, because he knew they wouldn't vote for him otherwise. He was married to lesbo Eleanor, probably the first woman that slept with him. Also, he was totally on the wrong side during WW2. I'll let you guess what side that was.

I mean, I could go on and on about the soy-boys of yesteryear, but my mom left some hot pockets in the microwave, and I don't want to burn my tongue when I bite into them. Also, I'm like totally not racist or any of those other social justice buzzwords. Until next time.